Lost Innocence
by Sparkle731
Summary: Last 3 chapters posted. Story is now complete. When his father is murdered and the local street gang starts badgering him to join them, young David Starsky makes some choices that will have a dramatic impact on his future. PreSequel to 'A Mother's Love'
1. Chapter 1

**LOST INNOCENCE**

**When his father is murdered and the local street gang starts badgering him to join them, young David Starsky makes some bad choices that will have a dramatic impact on his future. This is a pre-sequel to my story **_**A Mother's Love.**_

**CHAPTER 1**

**"**David," Rachel Starsky called to her eldest son as she skillfully stepped around her youngest son who sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor playing with his toy cars. "Take Nicky outside and play with him until your father gets home."

"Aw, Ma…" David said, appearing in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room. "Do I have to?" David had just turned twelve and he wanted to be outside playing with his own friends, not taking care of his six-year-old brother.

"Yes, David. You do." His mother said firmly "Now go on."

"Come on, Nicky." David said in a cranky voice, stepping forward to grab his brother's hand and pull him roughly to his feet. "Let's go outside."

"David Michael!" his mother admonished him firmly. "There's no need to pull on your brother's arm like that! You could hurt him."

"Sorry Ma." David said, lowering his head so his mother wouldn't see the resentment smoldering in his sapphire eyes. In a calmer voice, he said to his younger brother "Come, Nicky. Let's go play some ball until Pop gets home."

"O'tay…" Nicky said with a gap-toothed grin. He had recently lost his two front teeth, giving his speech a slight lisp when he talked.

"Nicky, pick your cars up first and put them away." Rachel instructed. Nicky obediently did as he was told and then joined his brother at the back door.

The two boys went into the back yard of the tiny two-story house where they lived with their parents in a lower middle class neighborhood in Brooklyn. David took up his position and tossed a softball to Nicky, who missed it. Giggling, the younger boy ran after the ball as it rolled across the grass, scooping it up and awkwardly tossing it back to his big brother, who caught it with ease. Nicky adored his older brother and loved spending time with him. It was hard for him to understand why Davy didn't seem to want to spend much time with him anymore.

The two boys tossed the ball back and forth until they heard the familiar sound of their father's car pulling into the driveway. Tossing down the ball, Nicky cried "Pop!" and took off running around the side of the house to greet his father. David picked up the discarded softball and strolled around the side of the house just in time to see Nicky throw himself into his father's outstretched arms. Both boys resembled their father with the same dark blue eyes, olive complexion and dark curly hair.

Michael Starsky was a police officer with the NYPD and proud of it. He enjoyed his job as a patrolman. He'd found his niche in life and intended to stay there. Promotions within the department didn't interest him. His main priority in life was, and always would be, his family. His blue eyes sparkled with amusement as he lifted Nicky up into his arms and glanced at his oldest son who was coming around from the back of the house. David was growing up fast, faster than Michael would have liked. He wasn't a child anymore but he wasn't yet a man either. He was at that awkward phase in between. In another year, he would be thirteen and it would be time for his Bar Mitzvah. In the eyes of their faith, at that time he would be considered a man with all the rights and obligations that went along with that distinction.

He was proud of both of his sons but, as the oldest, David held a special place in his heart. After he was born, the doctors weren't sure that Rachel would ever be able to have another child which had made David even more special to both of them. Then when Nicky came along, it had seemed like a blessing from God. For health reasons, Rachel had been unable to have more children, so they were grateful for their little family of four.

"Come on, Davy." Michael called out to his eldest son with a lopsided grin. "Let's go see what your Mama has for supper."

"Sure, Pop." David said with an answering grin, his own lopsided smile identical to the one on his father's face.

Rachel looked up from putting the finishing touches on supper as her husband and sons came into the house, laughing and teasing each other. Even after almost fourteen years of marriage, she still felt an almost overwhelming surge of love whenever she saw her husband's smile. "You boys go wash your hands and then, David, you can set the table."

"Yes, Ma'am." David said obediently. Michael put Nicky down and gave him an affectionate swat on the bottom. As the two boys left the room to wash up, he turned to his wife and gave her a slow lingering kiss.

"Mmmmmmmmm…" he said, taking a sniff of the delicious aromas floating in the air. "Something sure smells good."

Rachel smiled indulgently and playfully swatted as his hand as Michael tried to steal a bite of the salad setting on the kitchen counter. "You can wait until supper." She chided her husband fondly.

"But I'm starving…" he said with a pout that usually got him his way.

"You're always starving." Rachel said with a soft chuckle. "You sound just like David."

Their moment of privacy was interrupted by the chattering of the two boys returning to the kitchen. David starting setting the table with a little assistance from Nicky, who proudly put the silverware beside each plate. It was the same warm domestic scene being played out in homes throughout the neighborhood at that time of day.

After supper, David did the dishes while Michael helped Nicky with his homework. When they were done with their chores, the boys were allowed to watch television until eight o'clock when Rachel took Nicky upstairs for his bath and to get him ready for bed.

David looked forward to this part of the day. This was his special time to spend with his father. While he sat at the kitchen table and cleaned his service revolver, Michael Starsky entertained David with stories about his day. His father was David's hero and he wanted to be just like him someday. He had already decided that he was going to follow in his father's footsteps someday and join the police force. Unconsciously, he had already adopted many of his father's mannerisms and habits.

The Starskys were a close-knit family just like most of the other Jewish families in the neighborhood. They attended Synagogue once a week, at Rachel's insistence. Michael was more lax when it came to his religion than his wife. They celebrated the high holy days like Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. They also celebrated Chanukkah. Rachel and Michael had taught their sons to be proud of their Jewish heritage and told them about ancestors who had either survived or died in the camps during the war.

Rachel and Michael were strict with their children, while still allowing them to develop into individuals. Both boys were obedient and well behaved, perfect examples of their parents' excellent parenting skills. The boys knew what was expected of them and acted accordingly. Michael was the disciplinarian in the family. He knew from experience what it was like out there on the streets and he was determined that his sons would never get involved with a street gang or any of the neighborhood gangsters. One of Michael's best friends from his childhood, Joe Durniak, was well on his way to becoming a local mob boss. Michael didn't want that kind of life for his sons.

David went to bed at nine-thirty, leaving Michael and Rachel with their own private time until their bedtime after the eleven o'clock news. Their day started at six am when Rachel got up to fix Michael's breakfast before he went to work. After he left at seven-thirty, she got up the boys and fixed them their breakfast before they left for school at eight-thirty. Then Rachel spent her day doing the routine domestic chores that most housewives do every day. It was a good life and Rachel considered herself to be truly blessed. It was a warm day in June when that all changed and her world fell apart.

The boys were out of school for the summer and Michael was still working days. In the afternoons, Rachel would give David enough money to take Nicky to the corner drug store for a treat. David usually got a soda while Nicky always wanted an ice cream cone. The boys were on their way home that afternoon and were almost to their house when David saw his dad's car pull into their driveway. David dropped his brother's hand, leaving Nicky to catch up on his own, while he ran ahead to greet his father. His father paused and smiled as he waited for his oldest son to reach him.

As David sprinted towards his father, he heard rather than saw the car approaching from behind him. As Michael opened his mouth to call out to his son, four loud cracking sounds rang out, almost like firecrackers going off on the fourth of July. But, when David saw the surprised expression that crossed his father face as he pitched forward, crumbling to the ground, the boy knew the sound he'd heard wasn't fireworks. It was gunshots. He father had just been shot.

David bolted to his father's side, covering the short distance between them in seconds. As he knelt beside his father, he reached out to tug the older man's head into his lap, trying to offer comfort the only way he knew how. His father's fingers weakly grasped at David's shirt as the life slowly drained from his eyes. "POP!" David cried out frantically, desperately trying to still the frantic pounding of his heart and the sudden tightness that clutched at his throat. "STAY WITH ME, POP! DON'T DIE! PLEASE DON'T DIE! DON'T LEAVE ME!"

David was vaguely aware of the sound of the front screen door slamming open and his mother's voice screaming. David threw back his head and added his own screams to the chaos, even as neighbors came running out of their houses attracked by sounds of gunshots that had shattered the late afternoon quiet. Nobody needed to tell David that his father was dead, shot down by unknown assailants in his own driveway in front of his two sons.

Still holding his father tightly, David leaned forward over his body, fighting back the tears that stung his eyes. He would not cry, not in front of his mother or the neighbors. He heard the voices of some of the neighbors, comforting his mother and tending to Nicky but David refused to let them comfort him. He pushed away the hands that tried to reach out and help him to his feet, refusing to leave his father's side. He heard the sound of sirens approaching in the distance but he knew they were already too late. His father was gone and nothing would ever be the same again. When the ambulance arrived, someone finally grabbed his arm and forcibly pulled him from his father's side, so the paramedics could do their job.

David pushed the man holding him aside; not bothering to see who it was that had pulled him away. Turning, he ran past his weeping mother, who was holding a wailing Nicky in her arms, and disappeared into the house. Making his way up the stairs to his bedroom, he went inside and slammed the door, locking it securely. Throwing himself down across his bed, face first, he finally let the tears come, sobbing quietly into his pillow to muffle the sound of his crying.

In accordance with Jewish tradition, the next day, they laid Michael David Starsky to rest. David stood in the temple and absently repeated the words to the prayers automatically. His eyes were dry and his posture was stiff and erect. A part of him had died along with his father, forever shattering the innocence of his childhood. For the next seven days, the immediate family would sit Shiva as a sign of respect to the deceased. David would comply with the age-old tradition only because he had no choice. His pain and his grief went too deep for words or for consolation. Nicky was too young to understand much of what was going on around him but David knew and it was a day that would remain branded in his mind forever. If he closed his eyes, David could still smell the scent of his father's blood on the warm pavement where he had died and hear his mother's screams echoing in his ears.


	2. Chapter 2

**LOST INNOCENCE**

**CHAPTER 2**

David pulled the skullcap from his tousled curls and tossed it on top of his dresser. Tomorrow, he was expected to go back to school as if nothing had happened. Since his father's murder, he had felt the anger building up inside of him. He needed to do something to release the tension he was feeling. He grabbed his jacket and left the house without even thinking about telling his mother he was leaving. She was too wrapped up in her own grief and sorrow to notice that he was gone anyway.

Stuffing his fists into his jeans, he started walking away from the house with his head bowed low, no particular destination in mind. He barely noticed his surroundings, wandering out of his own neighborhood. Finally, he found himself at a deli several blocks from his home. He'd been there a couple of times with his Uncle Jacob. Opening the door, he stepped inside where he knew it would be cool. He roamed the aisles, mindful of the watchful eye of the clerk behind the counter, as he pondered what to purchase. From the corner of his eye, he saw the front door open and two older boys came into the store. They were dressed in ragged jeans, ripped tee shirts and denim jackets bearing the insignia of a local street gang, The Red Dragons.

David paused, watching as one of the boys grabbed two bottles of soda from the cooler and set it down on the counter. He saw the clerk shake her head adamantly as the boy held out some money to pay for it. David was too far away to hear what was being said but he immediately sensed trouble. Suddenly, the other boy pulled a gun from beneath his jacket and pointed it at the clerk, both boys laughing at the sudden look of terror that washed over the oriental woman's face.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." David said quietly, stepping out from the aisle and making his presence known. "That's Mrs. Chang. Her sons are members of the Chinese Mafia….they'll hunt you down if you hurt her."

"Who the fuck are you, kid?" the boy with the gun snarled at David, his eyes narrowing suspiciously at his sudden appearance. The boy was older than David and almost thirty pounds heavier. Several tattoos decorated his forearms, mostly gang related. He had taffy colored hair that hung almost to his shoulders.

"My name is David Starsky and I live a few blocks from here." David told him more calmly than he actually felt.

"Why should we believe you?" the other boy demanded, "This chink won't take our money! Our money is just as good as yours!"

"Don't believe me. It's your funeral." David said with a shrug. "You got the gun. Why don't you just take the sodas and leave? Live to fight another day."

"You got balls, kid." The boy with the gun smirked. "I'll give you that much…even if you are short on brains. What's to stop me from wasting the chink and you too?"

"Because you didn't come in here to kill anybody. You just wanted something cold to drink…same as me."

"Come on, Ice. The kid's right. Let's get out of here." The other boy spoke up, his voice a bit nervous.

"You're lucky I'm in a good mood today, kid." The boy called Ice said with a sneer as he grabbed the two sodas from the counter. In a sudden unexpected move, he doubled up his fist and punched the clerk in the face, knocking her to the floor. Laughing, the two boys left the store.

David immediately went to the aide of the shopkeeper. She was dazed and her bottom lip was split and bleeding but otherwise, she was unharmed. She began ranting in Chinese, pulling at David's jacket insistently. Gently loosening her grip on his clothing, David pushed himself to his feet and helped her up. As she grabbed for the phone to call the police, David backed away and hurried from the store. He wisely decided that it was time to return to his own turf.

He slowly walked back home, adrenaline still surging through his veins from his close encounter with the two youthful gang members. When he reached his house, he found Rachel waiting for him on the front steps. She looked upset and he knew that he was in trouble.

"Where have you been?" she demanded as he walked up the sidewalk towards her.

"I went for a walk." He told her evasively, as he climbed the stoop and stood facing his mother.

"You know I don't like you leaving without telling me where you're going. I need for you to watch Nicky for me while I go to the store."

"Why do I have to watch him? Why don't you ask Mrs. Yardley to watch him for a little while?"

"Because there's no reason to impose on Mrs. Yardley when you're here."

"Yeah…whatever." David said in an annoyed voice, starting past his mother and into the house. He was surprised when his mother reached out and grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks. He turned to look at her almost defiantly.

"I don't like your attitude, David." Rachel said firmly. "Until you can remember to speak to me with respect, you're grounded."

Without a word, David gently pulled away and walked into the house. He struggled to keep the sudden rage that smoldered inside of him contained. He knew that his father would have taken a switch to him for being disrespectful to his mother. His father was dead and his mother insisted on treating him like a child. He stopped being a child the day his father was murdered. It was time his mother realized that.

David went into the kitchen to make himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Through the open screendoor, he could see Nicky playing in the back yard. Grabbing a glass out of the cabinet, he poured himself some milk and stepped out onto the back stoop. He sat on the top step to eat his snack and keep an eye on his brother.

Noticing his brother, Nicky dropped his toy airplane to the ground and ran to David's side. "Hi, Davy" He lisped with a wide grin. "Can we go get some ice cream?"

"No." David said, a hard edge creeping into his voice. He choked back the sudden lump that rose in his throat as he thought about their last trip to the drug store to get Nicky ice cream.

"Davy, are you mad at me?" Nicky asked with the innocence of a six year old, cocking his head to look at his older brother inquisitively.

"No." David said shortly "Now go play and quit bothering me."

Nicky looked at his older brother solemnly for a few minutes and then ran off to continue playing. David finished his sandwich and dumped the rest of his milk onto the ground. When his mother came home from the store a half hour later, he abandoned his place on the stoop and went to his room, shutting the door firmly behind him. Since his father's murder, the room had become his sanctuary, the one place where he felt safe. The one place where he could shed the tears he refused to shed in front of anyone.

He knew that his mother was dealing with her own grief while still trying to maintain their home and take care of her sons. As Michael Starsky's widow, she would receive a small pension for the rest of her life but eventually, she would have to find a job to help support them. When that happened, David knew that he would probably be responsible for watching Nicky while she worked. He loved his little brother and he loved his mother, but his own grief was almost too overwhelming to bear. He ignored his mother's knock on the door when she came upstairs to tell him that supper was ready. He spent the rest of the night in his room, brooding and alone.

Around midnight, he slipped out of his room and went downstairs to raid the refrigerator. His mother had left a plate of food for him on the top shelf along with a cold soda. He ate his cold supper and rinsed off his dishes, leaving them in the sink to wash in the morning. Slipping quietly through the house, he grabbed his jacket out of the front closet and eased open the front door. He stepped outside, disappearing into the darkness.

He walked to a nearby park and sat on one of the swings, rocking slowly back and forth. He knew it was dangerous to be out this late at night alone, even in his own neighborhood. He stared into the darkness, every sense on alert for impending danger. He heard footsteps approaching from behind but he didn't look around to see who it was. Four boys suddenly surrounded him, all wearing the distinctive jackets of the Red Dragons.

"What are you doing here, kid?" demanded a heavyset boy with stringy red hair. "This is our turf. Shouldn't you be at home all tucked in bed for the night?"

"I don't want no trouble." David said quietly "I just wanna be left alone."

"He wants to be left alone." Another boy with a pock marked face remarked with a smirk. "He don't want no trouble..."

"So is that why you're trespassing on our turf this time of night?" demanded a third boy with bushy brown hair and beady little eyes.

"I live just down the street so this is my turf too." David said almost belligerently. He knew the minute he said it that it was a dumb thing to say. The other boys immediately stepped closer, making him nervous and uneasy. He knew the gangs reputation for violence. But David was no coward. If he was going to get beat up by the older boys, he was going to make sure he got in a few good punches of his own. He saw the surprise in their eyes when he suddenly shoved himself to his feet and stood facing them with a defiant stance, even though he was a good three inches shorter and at least twenty pounds lighter than they were.

"Hey, he's okay." Another voice said from the darkness. The other boys immediately took a step back as they were joined by a fifth boy. David immediately recognized him as the boy called Ice that he had run into at the Deli earlier that day. The older boy looked at David with a smug smile and shook his head. "Like I said earlier, kid, you got a lot of balls but you're kinda short on brains. What are you trying to do? Get yourself killed out here?"

"What's it to you if I am?" David said, tilting his chin at the other boy in a cocky gesture. In spite of his show of bravado, inside he was scared to death. But he was determined not to show any fear in front of the gang members. "I have as much right to be out here as you do."

"Relax, kid." Ice said, slinging an arm around David's shoulder as if they were old friends. "Ain't nobody here gonna hurt ya." He cast a glance at the other four boys, who all shook their heads slightly, indicating their compliance. It was obvious that Ice was the leader of the gang and that whatever he said was listened to and obeyed. He turned his attention back to David and said, "Tell you what, kid…you stick around and have a drink with us and then you can go home if you want to. What do ya say?"

"Sure." David said "And don't call me kid. I ain't no kid."

"Okay, okay…" Ice said with a chuckle "So how about if I call you Curly? That suit ya better?"

"Okay." David said, relaxing slightly but keeping his guard up. Ice reached into his jacket and pulled out a pint of whiskey. Unscrewing the cap, he held the bottle out to David who took it after a moment's hesitation. Closing his eyes, he took a deep swallow, gasping as the liquor burned its way down his throat and to his stomach. His eyes watered and he began coughing.

The older boys laughed as Ice slapped him on the back to help him catch his breath. "Take it easy, slick." Ice said "The next time it'll go down a whole lot easier."

In a show of defiance, David took another drink of the alcohol, sipping it this time. It still burned and made his eyes water but at least he managed to keep from gasping and coughing. Ice chuckled at his display of nerve. In a rare show of comradery, Ice slapped him on the back and said, "Like I said, you're okay, Curly. You can hang with us anytime." David wasn't naïve. He knew it was a compliment to be accepted so readily by the gang. To reject Ice's offer of friendship would be akin to suicide. David nodded without comment as he handed the bottle back to Ice. The boys passed the bottle back and forth, with David drinking his fair share. He'd drunk beer with his father a few times but Michael Starsky never drank hard liquor and whiskey was hardly the same thing as beer. It wasn't long before David had a nice buzz. For a brief moment, he forgot how much he was hurting inside.

It was shortly after two am when he slipped back into the house and quietly tiptoed up the stairs to his room, moving stealthily through the darkness so he wouldn't alert his mother to his nocturnal activities. In his room, he stripped off his clothes and fell across his bed, falling into a deep slumber.


	3. Chapter 3

**LOST INNOCENCE**

**CHAPTER 3**

David sat in his English class, staring out the window and ignoring the teacher's lecture. School had only been back in session for a little over a month but he was already close to failing in most of his glasses. Since his father's murder that summer, he had lost interest in school and no longer dreamed about graduating or joining the police academy. He had started hanging out with Ice and the other boys a couple of days a week, slipping out of the house while his mother was putting Nicky to bed.

When the bell rang, he gathered up his books and rushed out of the room. Tossing his books into his locker, he impulsively decided to cut classes for the rest of the day. Sneaking out the front door of the school without getting caught was easier than he thought it would be. Smiling broadly, he began walking down the street, heading nowhere in particular. He was pleased with himself for his unscheduled holiday from the drudgery of school.

He spent the afternoon hanging out at the arcade downtown and standing on a street corner, giving all the girls that passed the once over. It was almost time for supper before he finally went home. Rachel called out his name as soon as he walked in the front door.

"Yeah?" he said with a hint of insolence in his voice as he stepped into the archway between the kitchen and the living room. His mother was standing at the stove, stirring something in a pan on the stove. From where he stood, it smelled like beef stew.

"I got a job at the sewing factory. I'll be working on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays from six in the morning until six in the evening. You'll have to keep an eye on Nicky while I'm working and have supper ready when I get home." Rachel said

"What can't Nana do it?" David asked in an annoyed voice, referring to his grandmother who lived above an Italian restaurant not far from the Starsky home.

"Because Nana is too old to be watching Nicky. There's nothing wrong with you doing it. Besides, it's only three hours a day, three times a week." Rachel's voice made it clear that the subject wasn't open to discussion. She glanced at her oldest son who was slouching in the archway. "Go wash up and then you can set the table."

Muttering under his breath, David turned and walked away. The lingering anger that he had been struggling with since his father's murder threatened to erupt once more. He resented being told that he would have to watch Nicky while his mother worked even though he knew how difficult it was for her to make ends meet as a single parent with two boys. As Michael Starsky's widow, the small pension she received wasn't enough to support them adequately.

After supper, David slipped out of the house and disappeared into the darkness. He found Ice and Tinker lounging on the corner in front of the arcade, smoking cigarettes and trying to look cool.

"Hey, Curly. How's it hanging?" Ice asked, passing David the cigarette the two boys had been passing back and forth. David took a drag and passed it on to Tinker.

"It sucks, man." David said, easily falling into the slang the other boys used to color their speech. "My old lady got a job and I'm stuck watching my kid brother three days a week until she gets home."

"That bites." Tinker agreed, "My old lady had seven kids and I was the oldest. I always got stuck watching 'em until I got sick of it and split."

"I didn't have any snot nose brothers or sisters," Ice contributed to the conversation. "My old lady couldn't handle me as it was. The state took me away from her when I was five and I grew up in foster homes." He glanced at David with mild interest. "How about you, Curly? What's your story?"

"My pop's dead." David said quietly. It still hurt to say those words aloud, even to his friends. "Now it's just me, my mom and my kid brother."

"At least you had an old man around." Tinker said, "My Maw didn't even know who my father was."

"Neither did mine." Ice said as if it were the most natural thing in the world not to have any idea who your father was or to have him around. Having been raised in a close, loving family, it was a concept that was difficult for David to imagine.

Just then another gang member known as Spider pulled up to the curb in a souped-up baby blue mustang. "Hey, he yelled out the open window to his friends, "You wanna go cruising?"

"Sure." Ice said, agreeing for all three and shoving David towards the back door of the vehicle. Reluctant to refuse, even though he knew the car was probably stolen, David crawled into the rear seat with Tinker while Ice slid into the front with Spider. The tires squealed shrilly as Spider pulled into the early evening traffic. The radio was blaring and the interior of the car was thick with cigarette smoke. The four boys laughed and joked among themselves, yelling out the window at the pretty girls strolling along the sidewalk.

Suddenly, the red lights of a police cruiser flashed in the rear view mirror. "Shit!" Spider exclaimed, "It's the fucking pigs! If they pick me up again, I'm going back to juvie for sure."

"You?" Ice said with a snort. "We all will! Turn into that alley up ahead and we'll make a run for it. If we split up and scatter, they can't follow us all at the same time."

Following Ice's instructions, Spider turned the wheel sharply to the left and pulled into the alley, jerking the car to a halt with a sudden jerk halfway down the intersection. The doors flew open and the four boys piled from the car, each running off in a different direction.

David felt his heart pounding in his chest and his breath came in deep ragged gasps as his sneakers flew across the pavement. Grabbing the bottom rung of a metal ladder that led to a fire escape, he agilely pulled himself up and scrambled through an open window to hide inside the deserted building that skirted the alley. Slumping to the floor, he took several deep breathes, his lungs burning with exertion as he inhaled and exhaled. He could hear the sound of voices yelling and running footsteps in the alley below. David stayed carefully out of sight so he wouldn't be caught, even though he was sorely tempted to take a peek out the window to see where the cops were. Ma would really be mad if he ended up in juvenile hall and she had to come all the way downtown to pick him up.

He stayed hidden where he was for over an hour until he was positive that the police had left the scene and it was safe for him to come out of the building. There had been a certain thrill to running from the cops and hiding while they searched for him just a few feet away. He scrambled down the fire escape ladder and dropped to the ground with ease, quickly leaving the area and heading for home.

Rachel was waiting for him in the living room when he slipped into the house and she did not look very happy. "Where have you been?" she demanded as soon as he shut the front door.

"Out with my friends." David said a slightly sullen tone to his voice.

"You left without telling me where you were going." Rachel said "Again. " Although her eyes sparkled with anger, she attempted to stay calm. "David, I don't mind you going out to be with your friends but I do expect you to let me know where you are." She glanced pointedly at the clock. It was almost ten pm. "And I expect you to be home on time. You're supposed to be in by nine o'clock on school nights."

"Sorry." David muttered, even though his tone wasn't that apologetic. He turned and climbed the steps to his room. Rachel watched her oldest son's retreating back and sighed heavily. She could feel him drifting farther and farther away from her everyday and she didn't know how to reach him anymore. Maybe she should ask her brother, Jacob, to talk to him. David missed his father so much and had been affected so deeply by his murder. He needed a man's influence now more than ever.

Before she changed her mind, she reached for the phone, dialing her brother's number. After two rings, his warm, jovial voice said, "Hello?"

"Jacob, its Rachel."

"It's David again, isn't it?" Jacob asked in a concerned voice. He was close to both of his younger sister's sons. They were his favorite nephews. He had watched over the past few months as David became more sullen and rebellious every day.

"Yes and I'm worried about him." Rachel admitted. "He's so angry all the time."

"Do you want me to talk to him?"

"I don't know if it will do any good or not but I'd appreciate it if you would."

"How about telling him to stop by the house tomorrow after school? Tell him I have some chores I need his help with. Okay?"

"Okay. Thank you, Jacob."

"Anytime, Rachel. You know that. All you have to do is ask."

Rachel hung up the phone and turned off the living room. She climbed the steps slowly and walked down the hallway towards her own room. She could hear loud music coming from David's room but decided to ignore it. She knew they'd have another argument if she knocked on his door and asked him to turn it down. She took a shower and went to bed but sleep was a long time coming, her thoughts focused on her concern for her eldest son.

The next morning after breakfast, she told David that he was to go to Jacob's after school to help him with some chores. He didn't comment but he didn't look happy about it either. He nodded his head in agreement as he finished his eggs in silence. Grabbing his book bag from the floor beside his chair, he left the house without saying goodbye.

That afternoon after school, he went to his Uncle's house as instructed by his mother. For the next couple of hours, he helped Jacob paint the fence in his back yard. When they had finished, Jacob invited him into the house for a cold drink and a snack, knowing that David wouldn't be able to refuse the afternoon treat. David slouched down at the kitchen table while Jacob got them both a root beer out of the refrigerator along with the apple pie that his wife had baked that morning. She knew that was David's favorite and she always made one when she knew he was coming over.

"So," Jacob said, easing into the subject gently "How are things going at home lately?"

"Same as usual." David said with a shrug of his shoulders, avoiding his Uncle's eyes. He took a big bite of his pie, hoping his Uncle would drop the topic.

"You know, David, your mom is doing the best she can. She misses him too."

David's head jerked up and he glared at his Uncle, anger and something akin to betrayal, sparking in his eyes. "She put you up to this, didn't she?" he demanded. "Just because I was a little late getting home last night."

"It's not the first time either, is it?"

"I'm not a kid anymore. I can hang out with my friends if I want to." David remarked in a heated voice.

"Nobody is saying you can't. Your mom is just worried about you. That's all." Jacob said, trying to reason with his headstrong nephew.

"I can take care of myself." David insisted, his stubborn nature showing through.

"I'm sure you can but the streets are no place for you to be hanging out."

"Thanks for the pie and the soda." David said curtly, shoving his chair back from the table and rising to his feet. He turned and stalked out of the kitchen, bringing the conversation to an abrupt halt. Jacob sighed heavily as he heard the back door slam behind him. He knew that he hadn't been able to reach the rebellious adolescent. He found himself worrying that David was headed for trouble, big trouble.


	4. Chapter 4

**LOST INNOCENCE**

**CHAPTER 4**

David leaned back against the huge oak tree and sipped at the beer that Ice had given him. He had been invited to a party the Red Dragons were having in the park. There was booze, grass and girls. Most of the kids at the party were at least two or three years older than David but Ice liked him so that made him part of the group. Ice had invited him to join the gang and become a Red Dragon but David was hesitating giving the older boy his decision. He knew how his father had felt about the neighborhood gangs. It was one of the things that his father had ordered David to avoid. But, his father was no longer there and the Red Dragons were. They were his friends and they accepted him.

He had been smart enough not to tell his new found friends that his father had been a cop. None of the gang had any use for cops and David wasn't willing to risk being rejected by them if they found out what his dad had done for a living. When he was hanging out with them, he could forget about his own emotional pain, at least for a little while. He knew that Ice and Tinker, along with a couple of the other older boys, had been involved in some pretty heavy action; some assaults, a drive-by shooting on a rival gang, and a couple of robberies. Ice downplayed his criminal activities when he was around David, but Tinker liked to brag about his. He made it sound exciting with just a hint of danger.

One of the girls who hung out with the gang, a petite blonde named Carla, sat down on the grass beside David. She'd made it quite clear that she was interested in David when they were introduced earlier that evening. At sixteen, she was almost four years older than he was but he wasn't complaining. She was a real looker with long silky hair, a trim figure with a firm bust, and legs that seemed to go on forever. She was dressed in a pair of skimpy shorts that barely covered the essentials and a low cut blouse that left little to the imagination.

David was not totally inexperienced when it came to girls. He'd made out with a couple of girls in his neighborhood. One of them had even gone so far as to give him a hand job. He tried to play it cool as Carla began stroking his left thigh, her fingers moving closer and closer to the center of his body with each stroke. "You ever gone all the way, David?" she whispered, nuzzling the side of his neck with her lips.

"Yeah…of course I have." David answered; too embarrassed to admit that he was still a virgin. He squirmed uneasily as Carla's fingers brushed against his crotch. His body responded immediately and he felt his face flushing in embarrassment. Carla laughed, well aware of the effect she was having on the young brunet. She had made it with most of the boys in the gang and anytime someone new showed up at one of their parties, she always put the moves on them. There was a certain innocence about Ice's new friend that she found both appealing and arousing. Ice grinned and shot David the victory sign when he saw the younger boy disappearing into the woods with Carla.

David followed Carla deeper into the woods, the darkness surrounding them like a shroud. He tried not to act too nervous as he anticipated the next few minutes with the shapely blonde. He was startled when Carla grabbed him in the darkness and pressed her body against his, wiggling seductively. "Come on, Davy…" she whispered in his ear "Show me what you got."

Falling back on his instincts, David wrapped his arms around her and cupped his hands around her ass, as he kissed her deeply and passionately. One thing the young adolescent did know how to do was kiss. Carla moaned, her hands tugging at his belt and pulling it loose. David felt her unsnapping his jeans and pulling down the zipper. He shivered, a jolt of pleasure washing over him, as he felt her fingers slipping inside his pants and wrapping around his budding erection.

"Come on, baby…come on…" Carla murmured as she pulled him down to the ground on top of her. Highly aroused and anxious to experience his 'first time', David let his libido take over. Unfortunately, he was too excited and it was over before it even got started. Mortified, David pulled away and sat up, hunching his knees up against his chest to hide his shame. The sound of Carla's laughter echoed in his ears as she straightened up her clothes and walked away, leaving him sitting there alone in the darkness.

It was several long minutes before David composed himself enough to rearrange his own clothes and push himself to his feet. Too embarrassed to return to the party and face his friends, he crept away into the darkness and headed for home. He managed to get home and snuck upstairs to his bedroom without waking up his mother. He flopped down across his bed and fell asleep without bothering to undress.

The next morning, he woke up with a pounding headache and an upset stomach. He barely made it to the bathroom before losing the contents of his stomach. His mother heard him and quietly entered the room to check on him. "Why don't you go back to bed David? I'll fix you some soup later if you feel up to it." She said in a concerned voice, assuming that her eldest had a touch of the flu, never suspecting that he was suffering the after effects from the party the night before. A party that she wasn't even aware he had attended. He had wisely waited until she went to bed before sneaking out of the house to join his friends. He was becoming an expert at sneaking out at night after she was asleep and sneaking back in without getting caught.

David crawled back to bed and slept most of the morning. It was late afternoon before he finally felt half-human again. He made a silent vow not to do that again. A quick shower helped to clear his head. Pulling on a pair of ragged jeans and a faded tee shirt, he went downstairs to a quiet house. Suddenly he remembered that this was the day his mother always ran errands for his grandmother. She'd be gone till at least late afternoon. As he grabbed a glass of juice from the refrigerator, he saw a note from his mother on the table. Picking it up, he read,

_David, I made a casserole for supper. If I'm not back from Nana's put it in the oven around five o'clock and turn it on 350. It should be done around six. Nicky can have some milk and cookies when he gets home from school. I made a fresh batch and they are in the cookie jar. I hope you're feeling better. Drink plenty of juice. There's some chicken soup in the refrigerator if you feel up to eating before supper._

David scowled as he balled up the note and tossed it into the trashcan. He was hungry but he wasn't in the mood for soup. He grabbed a handful of cookies from the jar on the counter and sat down at the table to enjoy his mid-afternoon snack. Nicky wouldn't be home for an hour yet, until then, he had the house to himself. When he finished eating, he went back up to his room and opened his closet. Digging through some boxes stacked neatly on the floor, he pulled out the hidden pack of cigarettes and lit one up, inhaling deeply. He exhaled slowly as he slumped down on his bed and leaned back against the headboard.

He lost track of time, startled when his door flew open and Nicky burst into the room. He skidded to a halt and stared at his older brother in surprise. David immediately ground the cigarette he had been smoking out in the ashtray hidden in his nightstand drawer.

"I'm gonna tell, Ma, that you were smoking." Nicky said in that annoying way that little brothers seem to have.

David bounced to his feet and crossed the room to his little brother in three steps. Grabbing the younger boy's arm tightly, he snarled, "You tell, Ma and you'll be sorry! You keep your mouth shut or else!" He flinched at the fear he saw in Nicky's eyes but he ignored it. He had never talked to Nicky that way before or grabbed him tight enough to hurt him.

Tears glistened in Nicky's eyes as he solemnly nodded his head. "O'tay…" he whispered, "I won't tell, Ma. Let me go, Davy…you're hurting me."

David let his hand fall to his side. He gave Nicky a feeble smile, ashamed at himself for the way he had just treated his little brother. "Come on, kid…Ma made cookies." He said, trying to lighten the moment and distract Nicky from his uncalled for behavior. The two brothers left David's room together and went downstairs to enjoy some of Rachel's homemade chocolate chip cookies. After their snack, David sent Nicky outside to play while he watched TV until it was time to put the casserole in the oven. While supper was baking, he finished watching his program. When it was over, he called Nicky inside to wash up and then had the younger boy set the table.

Rachel came home just as David was taking the casserole out of the oven. She smiled wearily at her two sons, giving gave each of them a hug and a kiss. Nicky immediately began telling her about his day at school. When he finally wound down, Rachel glanced at David and said, "Are you feeling any better, honey?"

"Yeah, Ma. I'm fine. Must have been something I ate." David told her. He hated lying to his mother but he couldn't tell her that he'd gotten sick because he'd been drinking the night before.

"Well, you just take it easy the rest of the night and go to bed early." Rachel instructed him. "Don't forget, I start my new job tomorrow morning, so you'll have to get yourself and Nicky up and ready for school." She didn't see the cloud that crossed her eldest son's face at the mention of school. He was failing all of his subjects and had already had two detentions that he'd failed to tell her about. He knew she would find out soon enough. Grade cards came out in two weeks. He knew he'd be in serious trouble then. Rachel and Michael had always stressed the importance of getting a good education and made sure their sons did their homework as soon as they got home from school each day. They'd always had high hopes of both boys going to college someday.

Before his father's murder, David had always gotten B's and C's in school but he had to work at it. Book learning bored him, failing to hold his interest for long unless it was a subject he liked and wanted to learn about. Hyperactive and restless, it was difficult for him to sit in class listening to the teacher's lecture when what he really wanted was to be outside with his friends. Gym had always been his favorite subject because it gave him the chance to work off some of his excess energy. He excelled at basketball, being agile and fast, easily slipping past the bigger boys trying to block him from making a shot.

After supper, David retreated upstairs and took another shower. As memories of the night before drifted through his mind, he flushed at the memory of his blundered encounter with Carla. He hoped she at least knew how to keep her mouth shut and didn't tell the rest of the gang about his shortcomings. He closed his eyes and savored the memory of her hands on his body before he got too excited and embarrassed himself. Almost without thinking, his hand moved to satisfy the sudden urge that overwhelmed him.


	5. Chapter 5

**LOST INNOCENCE**

**CHAPTER 5**

David kept hanging out with his friends, becoming more rebellious and withdrawn with each day that passed. He fought with Rachel almost constantly about his failing grades and staying out late at night. Although he wasn't officially a member of the gang yet, he was becoming more and more like the other boys every day. He was drinking, he was smoking, and he'd finally gone all the way with Tinker's sister, Tina. He was starting to get quite a reputation for being good with his fists and for having a smart mouth. So far, he had managed to avoid being picked up by the police but he was smart enough to know that his luck couldn't hold out forever.

Smokie Joe, a young gang member closer to David's age, was acting as a decoy while David eased his way around the end of the counter to grab a handful of cash from the register. He deftly grabbed some of the bills and stuffed them into his jeans, easing back out from behind the counter and walking nonchalantly towards the store entrance. As soon as he was outside, he broke into a sprint and didn't stop running until he was safely blocks away.

Panting heavily, he darted into an alley and slumped against the wall to catch his breath. After he rested for a few minutes, he would meet the rest of the gang at the prearranged spot. It was the first time David had agreed to participate in one of their 'hit and run' operations. He'd felt a thrill of excitement when he was taking the money but now that he'd done it, he felt ashamed, knowing full well how disappointed his mother would be if she ever found out what he'd been up too lately.

Sticking to the alleys and avoiding the streets, David made his way to the abandoned building where the gang had agreed to meet. When he arrived, he found Ice, Tinker, Spider, and several other boys waiting.

"I did it, Ice." David said with a crooked smile as he pulled the handful of bills out of his jeans and handed them to his friend. He had scored over a hundred dollars in just a few minutes time. He glanced around the room. "Where's Smokie Joe?" he asked in a puzzled voice.

"The old man at the store pulled a gun on him when he realized you'd riffled the cash drawer." Ice told him "The son of a bitch shot him."

"Is he okay?" David asked in a worried voice, not wanting to voice his greatest fear.

"He'll live but the cops busted him. He's going to juvie when he gets out of the hospital." Ice said it calmly. What had happened to Smokie Joe happened everyday in his world. There was no need getting all bent out of shape over it. "Don't sweat it, Curly." Ice said, slapping his young friend on the back. "You did good. Let's get a couple of pizzas and some beer."

"And some girls." said Tinker with a grin, always to party.

"How about it, Curly? You game?" Ice said

"Naw, I gotta get home." David said "Nicky will be home from school soon and I have to be there."

"Aw, come on, Davy…you can stick around for some pizza. The kid will be okay by himself for a little while." Spider said in a challenging tone.

"Yeah…okay." David said reluctantly agreeing to hang around a little longer. He didn't want to lose face in front of the rest of the gang. He bummed a cigarette off Tinker and stood around smoking it while Spider and Ice went after the pizzas and beer. He was almost two hours later getting home. Just enough time to get supper started before his mother got home.

"NICKY!" David yelled as he went into the ominously quiet house. "HEY, KIDDO? WHERE ARE YOU?" When he still didn't get an answer, he began frantically looking through the house searching for his little brother. He couldn't find him anywhere.

Worried about his missing brother, he ran downstairs to see if any of the neighbors had seen him. He was startled when his mother burst through the front door. He was even more startled when the distraught woman met him at the bottom of the steps and slapped him across the face as hard as she could, leaving the imprint of her hand across his cheek.

"WHERE WERE YOU, DAVID? WHY WEREN'T YOU HERE WATCHING YOUR BROTHER LIKE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE?" She demanded, her voice shaking with anger.

Stunned, David took a step backwards and away from his outraged mother, his stomach knotting with fear. "Why?" he asked, "What happened?"

"Nicky got scared because you weren't here and tried to go looking for you!" Rachel hissed, struggling to control her anger at her eldest son. "He got hit by a car! He's in the hospital!"

"Ma, I…" David started to speak only to be cut off by his mother.

"I don't want to hear any of your excuses, David Michael Starsky." Her use of his full name alerting him to just how much trouble he was in. "Go to your room and stay there! I don't even walk to talk to you right now!"

David turned and trudged back up the stairs, blinking back the sudden tears that burned his eyes. He knew that his mother had ever right to be angry with him. Whatever punishment she decided on, he would accept without protest. He knew he deserved it. He went to his room as ordered and threw himself down across the bed. A short time later, there was a knock on his bedroom door.

"David, it's Jacob." His uncle's voice said. Without waiting to be invited in, Jacob opened the door and entered the room. His expression was grave as he looked at his young nephew solemnly. "What do you have to say for yourself, David?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize what time it was." David said lamely.

"That's no excuse and you know it." Jacob said sternly. "Your mother counted on you and you had a responsibility that you totally ignored."

"I know." David said, biting on his bottom lip anxiously. "Is Nicky going to be okay?"

"Yes, he was very lucky. He just got a few bruises and a broken arm. He could have been killed." Jacob began unbuckling the heavy leather belt he wore around his waist. "You have to be punished, David. You know that, don't you?"

"Yes, sir." David whispered, a slight tremble in his voice. He shoved himself to his feet and walked to the end of his bed without being told. He leaned forward, bracing his hands against the footboard and held his breath. He heard the belt whistle through the air, yelping when it struck him across his rear end. Even through the heavy denim of his jeans, it stung like hell. Jacob gave him ten swats with the belt and then turned and left the room without a word. David slowly straightened up; his backside feeling like it was on fire. But, in a twisted sort of way, he welcomed the pain as atonement for what had happened to Nicky because of his negligence. He barely noticed the tears that streaked his cheeks as he eased himself down across his bed, lying on his stomach and trying not to move around too much. He cried himself to sleep that night in the lonely solitude of his room.

The next morning, each step he took reminded him of his punishment and a vivid bruise colored his cheek from his mother's furious slap. When he went downstairs for breakfast, Rachel's face paled at the sight of his bruised face but she offered no words of apology. Instead, she placed a plate of hotcakes swimming in butter and maple syrup on the table in front of him, one of his favorite breakfasts. David didn't say a word as he began to eat, knowing that the food was his mother's way of telling him that she was sorry for slapping him.

When he'd finished, he rinsed off his plate and put it in the sink. Turning to his mother, he looked at her with a deep sadness mirrored in his deep blue eyes. "I'm sorry, Ma." He said, "I really am. It won't happen again."

"You'd better hurry. You'll be late." Rachel said, smiling to show him that she accepted his apology. "After school, you can go with me to the hospital to pick Nicky up." As David nodded and turned to walk away, she added, "And, David…you're grounded until further notice. Straight home from school, no phone calls, no TV, and no hanging out with your friends. Understood?"

"Yes, Ma'am." David said meekly as he opened the front door and stepped outside. He didn't argue the additional punishment. He knew he was still getting off easy.

For the next month, David was grounded to the house and didn't hang out with the gang. Finally, Rachel decided he'd been punished enough and told him he was no longer grounded. He was still expected to continue to watch Nicky on the days she worked and to be more responsible where his little brother was concerned in the future. With his freedom restored, it wasn't long before David was hanging out with Ice and the other boys again, but this time, he waited until his mother got home from work before leaving the house. He also started paying more attention in school to stay on his mother's good side.

Shortly before Christmas, his mother went to work at the sewing factory full time. She now worked five days a week and her hours became more regular. She didn't go in until seven in the morning and got off in the afternoons at three-thirty, getting home just before four. Instead of having to watch Nicky three hours a day, three days a week, now all David had to do was watch him for a little over an hour five days a week. To help ease the workload at home, Rachel expected David to start supper and do some of the household chores. David did as she instructed but not without some complaining. As David slowly fell back in with the gang, his rebelliousness and sullen attitude returned. Soon, his grades were slipping again and he was sneaking out at night to hang out with his friends.


	6. Chapter 6

**LOST INNOCENCE**

**CHAPTER 6**

David slouched down in the back seat of the police cruiser and tried to keep the tears at bay. He was humiliated and he was scared. He had been caught shoplifting at a mom and pop store not far from his home. He had almost been out the front door when the shop owner grabbed him by the arm and called the police. To David's shame, one of the responding officers was his father's old partner, Pete Garrison.

"David?" Pete had said in a startled voice when he saw the young pre-teen sitting in the manager's office.

"Get this little thief out of here!" the manager had growled, his voice sharp with anger. "I want to press charges and I don't want him to set foot in this store again!"

"We'll take care of it, sir." Pete said cordially, grabbing David's left arm and dragging him to his feet. David could barely believe it when Pete pulled his hands behind his back and snapped the cold metal bracelets around his wrists. David's embarrassment increased as he was escorted out of the store in handcuffs by a man he had know and trusted his entire life, a man he fondly called Uncle Pete.

Pete opened the back door to the police cruiser parked behind the store and eased David into the back seat. The brunet settled back against the seat and tried not to fidget as the two uniformed officers climbed into the front. He knew that his mother was going to be more than just pissed this time; she was going to kill him.

The ride to Juvenile Hall was made in silence which only added to David's anxiety level. When the arrived at the ugly one story brick building that every kid on the streets had horror stories about, David struggled to keep his fear at bay. Pete opened the back door and reached in to grab his arm, pulling him out of the car. Although Pete didn't say a word, David could see the disappointment reflected in his eyes as he escorted him into the building. He turned him over to the guard in charge with a curt, "Shoplifting. First timer." Pete unfastened the cuffs from David's wrists, then turned and walked away, leaving a very scared and bewildered David Starsky behind.

"Okay, kid." The guard said sternly "Let's go." He took David's arm and led him into a small cramped office with a battered desk sitting in the middle of the room. He sat David down in a hard wooden chair facing the desk and then seated himself at the desk. Opening the top drawer, he took out an intake form and started asking David basic questions such as his name, his address, his birth date and if he'd ever been arrested before. Realizing that this was David's first time in detention, his attitude softened slightly and he smiled faintly to relieve the youngster's fear of the unknown.

When he had finished with the basic paperwork, he took David's fingerprints and then led him down a long hallway to a shower room. He pulled a pair of blue drawstring pants and a matching tunic top from a shelf just inside the doorway and handed the clothing to David. "Strip and take a shower, then get dressed in these." He instructed the boy. David felt his face flush with embarrassment when he realized that the guard was going to stay in the room and watch while he showered. He quietly did as he was ordered.

When he was redressed in the detention center issued clothing, the guard took his arm again and escorted him down the hall to a large dorm like room with rows of bunk beds on either side of the room. Other boys, most of them older than David, were milling around as they prepared for lights out. None of them paid any particular attention to the new arrival. At least not until the guard left the room.

As soon as the guard was out of sight, two of the boys approached David. Although they were not acting in a threatening manner, David instinctively took a step backwards until his back was against one of the bunks.

"Hey, kid…what are you in for?" one of the boys asked. He was heavyset with an oriental slant to his eyes and kinky black curls. His skin was a rich mocha color, his features a curious mixture of cultures.

"Shoplifting." David said with a hint of defiance showing in his voice. In his mind, he immediately began calling the other boy Porky.

"This your first time here?" the other boy asked. He was a skinny white boy with bad teeth and breath to match. David immediately dubbed him Stinky.

"Yeah." He muttered, keeping up his show of bravado to cover up his nervousness.

"I thought so." Stinky said "You still look a little green around the gills. Hey, no sweat. We don't bite." He leered at David and added with a chuckle "Not much anyway."

"Ignore him." Porky advised. "If this is your first time the judge will go easy on you. He'll probably just give you a lecture and release you to your guardian…after he warns you not to show your face in his courtroom again."

"The owner of the store insisted on pressing charges." David said

"Don't matter what he wants. You're a minor and this is your first offense." Porky said.

"When will I see the judge?" David asked, trying to keep the slight tremble out of his voice.

"This is Friday…so not until Monday morning. You're stuck in here with us for the weekend, kid." Stinky said with a smirk.

"What's your name kid?" Porky asked

"Curly." David said, giving them the name Ice and the other boys called him.

"You running with a gang?" Porky asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Yeah, the Red Dragons." David said with a hint of pride in his voice at his gang affiliation.

"Ice and his boys, huh?" Porky snorted "You better tell Ice to take better care of his recruits so they don't get scared off before he can reel them in."

David nodded. Here, just like on the streets, he found himself accepted by these boys just because of his association with the gang. And it felt good to belong. Since his father's murder, David no longer felt as if he belonged anywhere or fit in with his friends from childhood any longer. The only ones he felt comfortable and accepted by was the gang of local boys who didn't trust cops and lived on the fringes of the law.

"When you get out, tell him little Moe and Bigfoot said hello." Stinky said, using the street names that all gang members rechristened themselves with.

"I'll do that." David promised.

"Right now, you better get into your bunk." Stinky told him "It's almost lights out. I got the top so you're on the bottom." With those words, Stinky scrambled into the top bunk and scooted underneath the covers. David turned to his own bunk and did the same. Luckily, it was still fairly warm outside otherwise the thin sheet that the facility provided offered little comfort against the slight chill in the room.

A few moments later, the overhead lights shut off, plunging the room into a heavy darkness. All around him, David could hear the sound of other boys breathing as they settled in for the night. He could hear yelling from another part of the building, accompanied by the slamming of heavy metal doors from outside the dorm room as the guards made their scheduled rounds. Lying in the hard unfamiliar bed, listening to the unfamiliar sounds going on around him, David got very little sleep that night. Finally, after hours of tossing and turning, he fell into a restless sleep.

A loud clanging sound and the sudden glare of the bright overhead lights coming

on startled David awake the next morning. For a moment, he was confused and disoriented until he remembered the events of the night before. His heart thudded heavily in his chest. It hadn't been a bad dream after all. It was real, much too real.

Sighing, he climbed out of his bunk and lined up with the other boys to use the bathroom and to brush his teeth. Then it was off to the dining hall for breakfast. David immediately came up with a few choice words to describe what he was served instead of food. There was a cup of thin watery milk, some unidentifiable gray sludge in a bowl, and two slices of stale burned toast. David took a sip of the milk and two bites of the toast before shoving his tray aside. One of the other boys sitting at his table immediately snatched it up and began helping himself to the extra food. After breakfast, the boys were escorted to a large open room with several threadbare sofas and chairs. David spent the rest of the day in mind numbing boredom, either watching TV or reading one of the dog- eared paperbacks lying on a table in the back of the room. The only break in the routine was lunch and supper, neither one of them was much better than the morning meal had been. After supper, the boys were escorted back to their dorm room. David immediately retreated to his bunk and escaped into sleep early to pass the time away.

The next day, the same routine was repeated. By the time Monday morning rolled around, David was ready for a chance, anything to break up the monotony. Shortly after breakfast, his name was called along with four other boys. The boys were cuffed together with one long chain and led outside to a waiting van that would take them to the court house. David felt his heart pounding with renewed fear and anxiety, even though all the boys in the dorm had reassured him that he would be allowed to go home with his mother since this was his first offense. Putting him in Juvie for the weekend had been a scare tactic to mess with his mind. They did that with all the first timers, stuck them in juvie for a day or two to let them find out what it was like inside. It was meant to scare the first timers straight. Unfortunately, it seldom worked that way. Most of them ended up back there again, usually several times, until they were finally old enough to be moved into the adult court system or until they committed a crime so violent that the system had no choice but to order them tried as an adult.

David hung his head in shame when he walked into the courtroom and saw his mother, accompanied by his Uncle Jacob, sitting in one of the front rows. She avoided her eldest son's eyes as he was escorted to a long bench on the far side of the room. Their wrists were uncuffed and they were ordered to sit down and wait their turn before the judge. There were several other cases ahead of his so David had a long wait.

Finally, he heard his name called and forced himself to his feet. He looked at the judge solemnly as the charges were read against him. Shoplifting and resisting arrest. The prosecuting attorney argued against David's release to his mother's custody but the judge cited his father's career as a police officer and the fact that he had recently been gunned down in the line of duty as mitigating circumstances that he felt had contributed to David's delinquent behavior. He also pointed out that this was David's first offense and that his crimes were non-violent ones. Once more, David felt the cold rage clutching at his heart at the mention of his father's murder. He let the anger surround him like a shawl, blanketing him with comfort and warmth. He would not let them see him cry. He would never let them see him cry.

David listened passively as the judge lectured him on his irresponsibility and the disgrace he'd brought to his father's memory before finally releasing him to his mother's custody and putting him on probation for 6 months. David carefully avoided looking at his mother as he was told to go back to his seat. He didn't want to see the disappointment or disapproval in her eyes.

After the other cases were heard, he was escorted back out to the van with the other boys to be taken back to the detention center. He was the only one going home that day, the other boys had all received time in juvie ranging from two weeks to six months. One boy had gotten a one year sentence for beating up an elderly woman when he stole her purse and putting her in the hospital. Back at Juvenile Hall, David was separated from the other boys and taken to another part of the building to be processed out. He was ordered to take another shower before leaving and was given his own clothes to leave in. Finally, the guard escorted him to the main lobby where he found his mother and Uncle waiting for him.

"Let's go home, David." his Uncle Jacob said sternly, his voice heavy with shame and disappointment at his wayward nephew's behavior. His mother looked at him sadly without speaking at all.

"Yes, sir." David said meekly. There was a part of him that was deeply ashamed of what he had done and for causing his mother so much worry and pain. But his stubborn pride wouldn't let him tell her how sorry he was for his actions. It was a Starsky trait that would follow him throughout his life, getting him in trouble time and time again. He followed his mother and his uncle outside to his Uncle's sedan which was parked in the parking lot. He slid into the rear seat while his mother sat in front with his Uncle behind the wheel.

He stared sullenly out of the window as they pulled out into the mid-morning traffic, lost in his own remorseful thoughts. He snapped to attention when he realized that his uncle was driving in the opposite direction from his home.

"Where are we going?" he asked worriedly.

"You're going to stay with Uncle Levi and Aunt Sarah for a couple of weeks." Jacob told him solemnly.

"Ma?" David said in a suddenly alarmed voice, his heart rate speeding up considerably as he looked to his mother for answers.

"It's for the best, David." Rachel said in a calm, quiet voice, speaking for the first time since leaving the detention center. "Perhaps your Uncle Levi can talk some sense into you. Lord, knows I can't."

David slumped back in his seat, scowling darkly. Uncle Levi was the strictest of his three uncles who lived in the neighborhood. It was going to be a long two weeks. He felt the resentment building up deep inside of him at what he saw as Rachel's betrayal for sending him to stay with his Uncle instead of allowing him to come home with her. But, he wisely held his tongue knowing that his punishment could have been worse. Much worse.


	7. Chapter 7

**LOST INNOCENCE**

**CHAPTER 7**

David hid behind the big elm tree in his uncle's front yard and clenched his fists tightly, struggling to control his temper. For the past two weeks at his Uncle Levi's house he'd felt more like a prisoner than he had felt like when he was in the detention center. He wasn't allowed to leave the house, except to go the four blocks to see his mother twice a week and even then Uncle Levi went with him to make sure that was where he really went. He couldn't call any of his friends. He couldn't watch TV or listen to the radio and he had endless chores to do. He kept begging Rachel to let him come back home and he knew she was weakening. He missed her and Nicky more than he imagined possible.

The last straw was Uncle Levi insisting that he go to temple three times a week with his aunt. Although he had always gone to Temple with his mother and father on the high holy days, the rest of the time, Rachel usually just took Nicky with her to Sabbath while David had been allowed to stay home with his father. If his mother didn't let him come home soon, he was going to go crazy following all of Levi's strict rules. If his mother intended this as a punishment, he had learned his lesson. The next time he'd be more careful and be sure not to get caught. He heard his Uncle calling his name and knew he had to answer unless he wanted to be in more trouble than he already was.

"I'm right here." He said, stepping out from his hiding place.

"Go change. Your aunt wants to leave in an hour." His Uncle said sternly.

"Yes, sir." David said meekly, knowing it wouldn't do any good to argue with his Uncle. His mind was made up and, in his house, his word was law. David trudged upstairs to the room he was using to change into his black slacks and a white shirt for the service.

When they reached the temple, David tried his best to stay alert and pay attention but his mind kept wandering. He recited the prayers automatically, making the correct responses without thinking about it. Finally, it was over and they were free to leave. When they got back to his Uncle's house, David was happy to find his mother sitting at the kitchen table with his Uncle.

"Maw!" David said, giving his mother a heartfelt hug and curious to find out why she was there.

"I've come to take you home if you're ready to go." Rachel told him with a smile as she reached out and affectionately ruffled his thick curls.

"You bet!" David said, hoping he didn't sound too enthusiastic. He ran up the steps to grab his stuff. As he disappeared upstairs, Levi looked at his sister and shook his head, showing his disapproval at Rachel's decision.

"I still think you are making a mistake. It is too soon. He hasn't repented his actions." Levi said gravely.

"I understand how you feel but I miss him terribly and I want him back home with me." Rachel said firmly, her own mind made up. At times like this, she could be as stubborn and determined as any of her brothers. Levi was the oldest and she respected him and his opinions, but he didn't have any children and didn't understand the bond between a mother and her children. Levi grunted and rose to his feet, disappearing into another part of the house. A few minutes later, David came bounding down the steps and rejoined his mother. Smiling happily, he followed Rachel out of his Uncle's house and headed for home.

When he got home, Nicky threw himself into his big brother's arms. David laughed and held his baby brother tightly, relieved to be home again where he belonged. His Aunt Geneva gathered her things and prepared to head back to her own house now that Rachel was home. She kissed her nephew on the cheek as she left, leaving behind a lingering scent behind of lavender.

"You'd both better get to bed." Rachel told her sons. "It's almost ten and you have school tomorrow." Both boys immediately obeyed, climbing the steps to the second floor, the sound of their laughter floating back down to Rachel. She smiled. Both of her sons were home again. Maybe now things could settle down and get back to normal. She was still worried about David but she vowed not to get so angry with him that she sent him away from home again.

The next morning, David was in a good mood and joked with Nicky during breakfast, promising to play ball with him when they got home from school that afternoon. Since Rachel had to work that day, she gave David instructions on what she expected him to do before she got home.

The next three weeks passed quietly, lulling Rachel into a false sense of security. But, then one afternoon after school, David ran into Ice and Tinker on his way home from school.

"Hey, Curly," Ice said falling into step beside the younger boy. "We heard about what happened to you. Glad to see you back again."

"I'm glad to be back." David admitted with a lopsided grin. "It really sucked at my Uncle's house."

"Hey, now that your back, you wanna meet us later at the park and hang out?" Ice asked.

David hesitated but only for a moment. He still considered Ice and the other boys his friends and he had missed hanging out with them. Even though he knew he was taking a chance, he agreed to meet them at seven o'clock that night at the park. Still unnerved by his recent experiences, he promised himself that even if he started hanging out with the gang again, he'd cut back on some of his more irresponsible behavior in the future, including the drinking and smoking pot. That night he asked his mother's permission to leave for awhile, leading her to believe that he was going to hang out with a friend down the street. He knew she would never agree to him meeting Ice and the others at the park. He hated lying to her but he honestly believed he was sparing her anymore worry or concern by not telling her the truth. She agreed, reminding him to be home by ten.

David hurried to meet the gang at the designated place. They were already partying: drinking, smoking and making out with some girls they had hooked up with. David accepted a beer from Spider, figuring that one beer wouldn't hurt. It wasn't long before a cute little brunet with an exotic look to her face, attracted his attention. Sauntering over to where she was standing with another girl, a little redheaded named Roxanne who often partied with the Red Dragons, he grinned at the two girls and said,

"Hi, Roxie. Who's your friend?"

"Hi, Curly." Roxie said with a smirk on her face, knowing that it was the other girl David was really interested in meeting. "This is a friend of mine. Cheyenne." She turned to the other girl "Cheyenne, this is David but we all call him curly because of those gorgeous curls of his."

"They are gorgeous." Cheyenne said eyeing David closely with almond shaped deep brown eyes. It was obvious that she was attracted to him too. David took her arm and led her away from Roxie, intending to get to know his new friend a little better. They found a spot underneath a large oak tree and sat down. David passed her his beer, watching as she took a long deep swallow.

"You been with the Dragons long?" Cheyenne asked, "I don't remember seeing you around the last time I came to one of their parties with Roxie." She smiled at him brightly and rested her hand on top of his left thigh. "Believe me I would have remembered you."

"I just hooked up with Ice and Tinker a few months ago." David told her. He didn't see any point in telling her that he wasn't actually a Red Dragon, at least not yet.

"Well, I think we need to get better acquainted." Cheyenne said, tipping her head seductively.

"My thoughts exactly." David said, bending his head and kissing her. They sat there, making out for the rest of the evening. By the time David thought to check the time, it was almost eleven. He knew he'd be in big trouble if he didn't leave and get home. Apologizing profusely to the brunette, he said, "I don't wanna go but if I don't get home, I'll be grounded for another month."

"That's okay." Cheyenne said with an easy smile. "I wouldn't want that. Can you meet me tomorrow night at the corner of Fairfax and Tenth Street? I usually hang out at the arcade there."

"I'll try my best." David said with a pleased grin, happy that his abrupt departure didn't seem to bother her.

"Terrfic. See ya then. Until then…here's something to remember me by." She gave David another deep lingering kiss that set his blood on fire and made his head spin. One way or the other, he vowed to keep his date with her the following evening.

He hurried home as fast as he could, not that surprised to find his mother waiting up for him and she was not happy. "David Michael Starsky!" she said as soon as he walked in the front door. "Where have you been? And don't try to tell me that you were at Joseph's house because I called there and he said he hadn't seen you all evening!"

"Aw, Maw…" David said, thinking fast as he shifted nervously from one foot to the other. "I was on my way to Joseph's house and I met a girl…we got to talking and I lost track of time. That's all. I promise. It won't happen again."

Rachel looked doubtful but she wanted desperately to believe her son. Against her better judgment, she softened a bit. "I see. And who is this girl you were with?"

"You don't know her. She's new. Her name is Cheyenne." David said, hoping Rachel wouldn't ask for her last name. David hadn't thought to ask, his mind had been on other things.

"That's an usual name. Is she Jewish?"

"I don't think so." David said with a snort, picturing Cheyenne's almond shaped eyes and oriental features in his mind. "Geezee…Maw…I ain't gonna marry her. I just met her." He gave his mother one of his most endearing smiles. "She's real nice, Maw. I like her…I like her a lot."

"All right…" Rachel said, giving in to her son's youthful enthusiasm. She knew that David needed a social life and time to spend with his friends, girls included. She didn't want to stifle that. "But next time remember to be home on time. Now get to bed. It's late. Tomorrow's Saturday and I have some chores I need you to help me with."

"Yes, ma'am." David said respectfully. He turned and started for the steps, then turned back to face his mother and said, almost innocently, "Is it okay if I go out tomorrow night? I kinda made a date with Cheyenne to see a movie." The lie slid off his tongue with ease. He knew that Rachel definitely would not approve of what he hoped to really be doing with Cheyenne the next night.

"I suppose." Rachel said, glad to see David so happy and excited for a chance. "And since it's the weekend, you can stay out until midnight but not one minute longer. Agreed?"

"Agreed." David said with a grin. He knew that his mother would be in bed before midnight so he should be able to stay out later if things worked out the way he hoped. Whistling under his breath, he continued up the steps to his bedroom.


	8. Chapter 8

**LOST INNOCENCE**

**CHAPTER 8**

Over the next few weeks, David spent most of his free time with Cheyenne. He still hung out with Ice and the gang but not as much as he had been. He had developed his first major adolescent crush on the dark haired girl with the almond shaped eyes. It hadn't taken him long to discover that they had a great deal in common. They both loved horror movies, junk food and fast cars. In addition, Cheyenne also had a younger sibling, a sister named Martina who was the same age as Nicky. She also lived in a single parent household but in her case it was her mother who was dead. And, like David, she had to watch her sister after school until her father got home from work. In order to spend as much time together during the week as possible, Cheyenne started bringing Martina with her and coming to David's house after school. While Nicky and Martina played outside, the two adolescents made out on the sofa while pretending to watch TV.

After Rachel got home, David would walk Cheyenne back to her house so she could drop off Martina, then they would spend the rest of the evening walking in the moonlight or hiding away in their secret spot to make love. David had come a long way from his first bumbled attempt with Carla. But Cheyenne was even more experienced than he was, surprising him with a few new tricks of her own that made his head spin. Life was good and in less than a week he would be thirteen. Rachel was already planning a big party for his Bar Mitzvah and he planned to ask Cheyenne to come as his official date.

Ice had smiled knowingly when he spotted David and Cheyenne making out at one of the Red Dragon's parties. In a cryptic tone, he had cautioned David to be careful but refused to elaborate on what he should be careful about. Naively, David assumed that Ice was referring to being careful that he didn't get Cheyenne knocked up. David wasn't too worried about that he made sure to use a rubber every time. The last thing he needed or wanted at his age was a kid. He might be growing up fast but he didn't want to grow up that fast.

David and Cheyenne had spent another afternoon together watching Nicky and Martina. They had just left Cheyenne's house after dropping off Martina when a four boys wearing jackets with the emblems of another neighborhood gang, The El Torros, stepped out of an alley in front of them, blocking their path. David instinctively stepped in front of Cheyenne to protect her. A tall gangly boy with long black hair and a long scar on the left side of his face stepped up to David but spoke over his shoulder to Cheyenne.

"Hey, _puta,_" he snarled in a heavily accented voice, using the Mexican word that loosely translated into slut or whore, "Since when did you forget who you were and start hanging out with Jews?" The other boy spit out the word _Jews _as if it left a bad taste in his mouth. David immediately tensed defensively. He had run into his kind before.

"Chico…please don't make a scene." Cheyenne pleaded, the use of his first name making it clear that she knew the other boy. "Not here…not now."

"Why not?" Chico growled, "Seems like as good a time as any to me."

"I told you it's over. Now leave me alone!"

"It ain't over till I say it's over!" Chico said ominously. He turned his glare on David, his smoldering brown eyes full of hate and rage. "And I sure as hell ain't letting no fucking Jew boy take you away from me!"

"It sounds like she's already made her choice." David said in a cold, carefully controlled voice. "So why don't you leave her alone like she said?"

"WHY DON'T YOU MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS, PUNK?" Chico yelled, balling his hands into fists. "UNLESS YOU WANT THE SHIT BEAT OUT OF YOU RIGHT NOW!"

Instantly, David assumed a defensive stance, his own fists clenched tightly, ready to fight, to defend himself and Cheyenne, even though he knew that he was outnumbered. Suddenly, the sound of police siren cut through the air. Chico and his friends jerked their heads around to glare at the police cruiser slowly cruising down the street towards them.

"COME, CHICO!" yelled one of the other boys "LET'S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, MAN."

"This ain't over yet, bitch!" Chico hissed at Cheyenne, who was cowering behind David fearfully. The outraged boy focused his attention on David and said threateningly, "You're lucky this time, prick, but there's always a next time." With those parting words, he turned and the four boys ran off down the alley.

Cheyenne immediately burst into tears. David wrapped his arms around her to comfort her as the police cruiser pulled to a stop beside them. Pete stuck his head out the window and looked at David. "Everything all right here?" he asked, pretending not to know the boy so he wouldn't embarrass him in front of his girl.

"Yeah, fine." David said shortly, his attention focused on Cheyenne instead of the cops parked at the curb.

"The two of you better get home." Pete said, "Before those boys decide to come back." Satisfied that the potentially volatile situation was defused, he turned to nod at his partner and the cruiser pulled away into the mid-day traffic.

"I'm sorry, David." Cheyenne wept against the brunet's shoulder, still shaken by the close encounter with the other gang.

"Hey, it's okay. They're gone now." David said in a soothing voice, gently rubbing her back as he held her close. "You wanna tell me what that was all about?"

"I went out with Chico a couple of times." Cheyenne admitted "But I broke up with him just before I met you." She looked at him with tear-filled eyes. "But Chico doesn't want to take no for an answer. He's says I'm still his girl, no matter what."

"Don't worry. I won't let him hurt you." David told her confidently.

"It's not me I'm worried about. It's you. He beat the hell out of the last boy I went out with…he hurt him so bad his parents left town after he got out of the hospital."

"Nothing's gonna happen to me. I can take care of myself." David assured her.

"David, you don't know Chico." Cheyenne insisted. "He'll wait until he can catch you alone and then he'll gang up on you with a bunch of his friends. You won't have a chance."

"Don't worry about me." David insisted, kissing her gently. "I'm not afraid of Chico and his goons."

"You should be." Cheyenne said in a subdued voice. "You don't know what he's capable of."

"I'll be okay. I promise. Come on, let's go to the Arcade." He slipped his arm around her waist and they slowly began to walk down the street towards the popular arcade nearby. Neither of them noticed the smoldering brown eyes that watched them from the rooftop of a nearby building. As they disappeared around the corner, Chico turned to his friends and said coldly,

"I want you to keep an eye on that little bastard. I wanna know every move he makes. I wanna know where he lives, where he goes to school and when he takes a dump. That _puta _and that _kike _are both gonna wish they'd never been born." The other boys nodded solemnly. They knew better than to argue with Chico, not if they valued their lives.


	9. Chapter 9

**LOST INNOCENCE**

**CHAPTER 9**

David was whistling as he headed home after dropping Cheyenne off at her house. He was going to make it home on time for change. He knew that Rachel would be relieved. He had slipped back into some of his bad habits, sneaking out at night, coming in early in the morning, and not wanting to get up in the mornings to go to school. His grades were slipping again too and he was in danger of failing most of his classes. He hadn't intended to backslide but the lure of the streets, and the time he spent with Cheyenne and the gang, was too strong to resist. But he was careful to avoid getting involved in any of the gang's more illegal activities.

He was only about three blocks from his house when Chico and his gang of cronies suddenly appeared out of the darkness, surrounding him. David immediately tensed and went into defensive mode, his hands clenching into fists. He wasn't stupid. He knew he was outnumbered but he wasn't about to go down without a fight. He fought back the fear that crept into his throat as the boys moved in closer.

"Did you think I forgot about you, punk?" Chico hissed, shoving David in the chest hard enough to make him take an involuntary step backwards. "You and me…we got a score to settle."

"Take your best shot." David growled belligerently. "You don't scare me." He knew he was taking a risk mouthing off to the gang leader and antagonizing him but he was too angry to care. David had never backed down from a fight before and he didn't intend to start now even if he did get his ass kicked. Taking a deep breath, he took the first shot, slamming his fist into Chico's jaw and catching the older boy by surprise.

Chico raised his hand and wiped it across his face, staring at the blood that stained his fingers from his busted lip. He smiled thinly and glared at David, his eyes narrowing dangerously. "You asked for it you little prick!" With a roar, he charged, tackling David around the waist and dragging him to the ground.

Pinning him down with his heavier weight, Chico began punching David in the face. David fought back as best he could. While Chico had the advantage of brute strength, David was agile and quicker. A hard blow to the abdomen knocked the air from his lungs and David instinctively curled up into a fetal position, rolling onto his side as he tried desperately to catch his breath. Immediately, the other boys crowded around him and took advantage of his momentary disability. They began kicking him in the ribs, stomach and groin, incapacitating him even further. A vicious kick to the head sent him spiraling into the darkness.

As awareness slowly returned to the hurting brunet, he realized that two of the boys were carrying him somewhere. One had hold of him underneath his arms while the second boy had hold of his legs. Instinctively, David began to struggle, ignoring the protests from his bruised ribs and stomach, but it was useless. He couldn't get away. He felt the boys carrying him climbing up some steps and then heard the sharp groan of a heavy door being shoved open.

David grunted as the two boys holding him let him drop to the ground without any warning. He felt the sharp bite of gravel cutting into the side of his face as he fell. Managing to shove himself to his hands and knees, David realized that he was on the rooftop of a building. His heart began pounding with fear. He knew that he was in real trouble. Nobody would hear his screams from up here.

A vicious blow fell across the small of his back, making David yell out in surprise and pain. Rolling defensively to one side, he caught a glimpse of the baseball bat as Chico swung it again, this time hitting David squarely in the ribs. He screamed as he felt two ribs snap with a sickening crack. David immediately lost the meager contents of his stomach, throwing up all over the tennis shoes of one of the other gang members, who kicked him in the face angrily, almost rendering him unconscious again.

David screamed again, this time in agony, as Chico viciously slammed the baseball bat down on his left ankle. Grinning maliciously, Chico continued to concentrate on the brunet's ankle, hitting it again and again with the bat until David was floating on a red cloud of agony, his body writhing in pain.

"Time to pay for messing with my girl, you bastard." Chico hissed in David's ear.

David felt hands lifting him from the rooftop and carrying him again, away from the stairwell and closer to the edge of the building. A wave of terror swept over David as he felt the boys starting to swing his body back and forth, holding on tightly to his wrists and ankles. Then they let go and David felt himself suspended in open space for a moment and then he was falling at a frightening rate. His scream echoed through the air, a scream of sheer terror, as the ground rushed up to meet him at an alarming speed. He never felt the impact when he landed on a huge stack of wooden boxes in the alley below, breaking his fall. His mind had shut down and rendered him mercifully unconscious before then.

_Lights…hands…pain…NOOOOO! LEAVE ME ALONE! _David's mind retreated back into the darkness where he felt safe, shutting down against the brutal assault on his senses.

David slowly returned to consciousness, aware of the movement and voices around him long before he actually found the courage to open his eyes. The light above his head was muted casting dark shadows in the corners of the room. His head pounded like someone was inside his brain trying to slam their way out with a sledgehammer and he was nauseated, his stomach churning uneasily. Everything seemed to hurt. His throat was dry and parched, making swallowing almost impossible and there was a metallic taste in his mouth that made him feel like gagging.

As he became more alert, he realized that his left shoulder was heavily bandaged and bound close to his chest, his arm resting in a sling. His left leg was suspended above the bed by an elaborate pulley system and encased in a heavy cast that went from just below his toes to mid-thigh. There was an IV stuck into the crook of his right arm and various monitors and sensors were attached to various parts of his body. He couldn't really see it but he could feel the plastic tube that was shoved up his penis. He felt woozy and disoriented, like his mind was disconnected from his body. David recognized the signs. He was stoned out of his mind on pain meds, reducing his various aches and pains to a steady throb that ached with each beat of his heart. He was amazed to discover that he was still alive. As he was falling through the air, he had been certain he was about to die.

"Fuck..." he whimpered, the word coming out sounding more like a garbled groan of pain. David closed his eyes and tried to will himself back into unconsciousness but was only partially successful. He had been granted a miracle by surviving his fall and now he would have to pay the price.

He forced his eyes open when he heard the door to his room open and his mother came into the room. One look at her face and he knew that she had been crying.

"Davy?" she said as she crossed the room to his side "How are you feeling?" She reached out to gently brush a soft caress across his cheek, pain flickering in her eyes when he pulled away from her touch.

"Why do you care?" David asked in a flat, toneless voice, hating the repulsive sound of his voice but unable to stop himself for being sullen.

"I care because you're my son and you're hurt." Rachel said "Do you wanna tell me what happened?"

"No."

"The police said you were attacked by a gang of boys and thrown off a two-story building. Is that true? Is that how you got hurt?"

"If they say so." David said, turning his head away and refusing to look into his mother's eyes. He flinched when he felt Rachel's hand on his shoulder but didn't pull away this time. "I'll be okay, Ma. Don't worry about it." He told him with a grim finality in his voice.

"You need to give the police their names so they can't do this to someone else."

"David snorted in contempt. "Yeah, right." He said sarcastically "I'm not telling the cops anything…or I'll get killed the next time."

"Are you in any pain? Did the doctor give you anything?" Rachel asked, wisely deciding to change the subject. She knew her headstrong son. He had made up his mind and nothing was going to make him change it.

"I'm fine, Ma." David said in a flat, detached voice. "Why don't you just go on home?" He closed his eyes and pretended to fall asleep, hoping his mother would take the hint and leave him alone. He heard her sigh heavily and then felt her lips brush against his forehead. He sensed her standing beside his bed for a few more minutes, watching him, and then he heard her quietly leave the room.

Once he was positive she was gone, David let a single tear slide down his cheek. He yearned to feel his mother's arms around him, comforting him the way she used to do when he was little, but he had outgrown childish things like that the day his father died in his arms. Any tears he shed from now on would shed in silence, locked away with the rest of his emotions in a hidden place deep inside of him that nobody could reach.

When the doctor came in later that evening to examine him, he bore his pain in silence, refusing to let anyone know just how much he was suffering. It was a trait that would follow him into adulthood. He welcomed the blissful relief of the medication that lulled him into a restless medicated sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**LOST INNOCENCE**

**The final chapters of this story are similar too and follow the same story line as my story "A Mother's Love" but they focus more on Starsky's POV.**

**CHAPTER 10**

The following afternoon Rachel went to sit with her eldest son again, arriving just after David was served his supper tray. He sullenly allowed her touch without pulling away but he refused to talk to her beyond a few mumbled words.

"I spoke with the doctor." Rachel told him with forced enthusiasm hoping to raise his spirits. She knew how much he hated being confined to bed when he was sick, being confined to a hospital bed with a badly broken left ankle that was in traction must be torture. "He said as long as there are no complications, you can come home at the end of the week." When he didn't reply but simply looked at her from beneath that veil of long lashes, she continued. "You'll be on crutches and in a wheelchair for a few weeks until your ankle heals enough for them to put you in a walking case but the doctor doesn't think there will be any permanent damage." She looked at her son closely trying to gauge his reaction before continuing "Your shoulder will probably bother you for a while even after the sling comes off and you'll have to have some physical therapy on it and on your ankle." She glanced pointedly at his supper tray that was still sitting, untouched, on his bedside table. "You need to eat."

"You want it then you eat it." David grumbled "It tastes like crap."

"David Michael!" Rachel scolded him "Watch your language."

"Crap ain't a bad word. I could have said shit." he remarked. He saw the anger flare in his mother's eyes and wisely decided to be quiet. She had been pushed as far as she intended to let him push her for one day. "Sorry…" he muttered in a half-hearted apology.

"You could say it like you meant it." Rachel told him, gathering up her things. "I really should be going. Jacob will be back to get me soon. They're keeping Nicky until you get out of here but I still have to go to work in the morning."

"Go on home, Ma. I'll be okay." David told her in a weary voice. He knew how hard things had been for his mother since his father's murder and he felt guilty about adding to her problems. He accepted her goodnight kiss without complaining, for a fleeting moment wishing he was Nicky's age again. He blinked back the tears that sprang to his eyes as she left the room, leaving him alone.

He was almost asleep when he heard the door to his room open again. He opened his eyes to find Ice standing beside his bed, looking nervous and uncomfortable in the unfamiliar surroundings.

"Hey, Curly." Ice said, eyeing the heavy cast on David's leg and the battered, bruised face of his young friend. "You look like shit. Did you get the number of the truck that hit ya?" he smiled at his feeble attempt at a joke. His gaze darted anxiously at the door as if to make sure they were still alone, then lowered his voice almost to a whisper. "I just wanted to let you know that Chico and his bunch got what was coming to 'em."

"What did you do, Ice?" David demanded, gazing at the other boy intently.

"Wasn't me or the boys." Ice said, looking vaguely uneasy. "The cops got 'em and they're all going away for a long time."

"For what?" David asked, probing insistently for answers that Ice seem reluctant to give.

"Rape and murder." Ice replied

David choked back the sudden fear that rose in his throat His heart fluttered in his chest as he whispered, "Who? Tell me…please…" when Ice didn't answer immediately, David gave a long drawn out moan and shook his head fiercely. "No…god, no. Please…" he reached out with his good hand and tried to grab Ice's denim jacket. "TELL ME!" He pleaded in a sharp voice that refused to be denied.

"I'm sorry, pal." Ice said sincerely. "They went after Cheyenne after they finished with you." He hung his head to avoid the pain in the brunet's eyes. Ice hated emotional scenes and telling his friends that someone they knew and cared about had been murdered. He had to do it far too often in his short life. "Chico confessed to cutting her throat. He said she got what she deserved."

David turned his head away, letting the silent tears fall down his cheeks to the pillow beneath his head as he struggled to deal with the blow he had just been dealt. He heard Ice leaving the room. Somehow, David knew he would never see the young gang member again. He wasn't sure how he knew, he just knew. Dark thoughts of revenge filled his mind but Chico and his gang were already behind bars. There was nobody to take his anger out on except himself. Ignoring the pain that flared through his injured shoulder at the motion, he slammed his right fist down on the metal bedrail as hard as he could. Lying there alone in the stillness of his hospital room, he cried for the losses he had suffered in his life over the past few months.

Early the next morning, Pete Garrison came by to talk to him about his assault and take his statement. David kept it brief, disclosing only what he had to tell him. He could tell that Pete knew he was holding back information but, to his credit, the cop decided not to push David for any more details than what he had already given. David became agitated when Pete asked him about Cheyenne's murder, already having established a link between the two cases. The pain was still too fresh in his mind. It was at that point that David refused to answer any more questions or to cooperate any longer. With a sad gaze at the young boy that he had known since he was born, Pete walked out of the room without a backward glance.

When Rachel came by to see him that afternoon, she found her eldest son quiet and subdued, his sapphire eyes lacking their usual spark. She already knew about Cheyenne's murder and knew that Pete had talked to David about his own assault earlier that day. Rachel was at a loss. She wanted desperately to help her son, to ease his emotional and his physical pain, but she didn't know how. All she could do was be there for him if he needed her but David seemed determined to deal with this latest trauma on his own without her comfort or support. Rachel was terrified that she was losing him to the pull of the streets and the gang mentality. She couldn't let that happen. She had to find a way to save David from his self-destructive behavior even if he didn't want to be saved. Since David didn't want to talk to her, she reluctantly cut her visit short, leaving her son to brood in solitude.

It was almost six more days before the doctor finally declared David fit to go home. Rachel and Jacob arrived shortly after noon to pick him up. They found David sitting in a wheelchair, anxiously awaiting their arrival. The ride home was made in relative silence. Even a stop at a nearby fast food place for lunch did little to lift David's spirits.

When they pulled up in front of the house, Nicky burst out the front door with a happy scream. Only his Uncle's fast reflexes kept the youngster from throwing himself at his older brother and hurting him. Handing the excited youth over to his mother's care, Jacob carefully helped David from the car and got him settled into the wheelchair.

As they all went into the house, Nicky pranced around his big brother excitedly. "Can I sign your cast, Davy? Huh? Can I?"

"Nicky," Rachel warned him gently "Settle down. Let your brother catch his breath."

"Yeah, kiddo." David said with a faint smile. "You can sign my cast. Go get a pen."

Nicky scampered to his room to find his school box. He came back with a black marker and proceeded to carefully scrawl his childish signature on the heavy cast. When he'd finished, he looked up at his older brother with a satisfied smile. Relieved that the two boys seemed to be all right for now, Rachel went into the kitchen to tend to some long neglected chores while Jacob told his two nephews goodbye.

David sat in the wheelchair, staring out the living room window. He wanted to be outside hanging out with his friends, not stuck in the house with his mother and kid brother. But that was out of the question. Rachel had forbidden him to hang with any of his friends because of what had happened. And with his leg in the stupid cast, he couldn't just walk out the door like he would have done otherwise. He turned his attention back to Nicky when he heard him say something about his Uncle Al and Aunt Rosie coming all the way from California for a visit. "What'd cha say?" he asked, glancing at his younger brother.

"I told you…" Nicky said with an exaggerated sigh "Aunt Rosie and Uncle Al are coming to see us all the way from California." He was pleased with himself because he knew something that David didn't.

"What for?" David asked suspiciously. His aunt and uncle from California didn't visit often. The last time they'd been in New York was for his father's funeral. And they wouldn't be coming for his Bar Mitzvah. That had been canceled because of his injuries. "When are they coming?"

"This weekend." Nicky said cheerfully. David had been ignoring him a lot since he started hanging out with his new friends and Nicky missed hanging out with his big brother. He was pleased that David was actually talking to him instead of telling him to get lost like he usually did.

"Nicky," his mother said as she came back into the room. "Go outside and play for a little while."

"Okay," Nicky said agreeably. The front screen door slammed closed behind him as he ran out into the front yard.

Looking at his mother, David said "Nicky said Aunt Rosie and Uncle Al are coming for a visit. How come?"

"Because I called them and asked them to come." Rachel told him

"What for?"

"David, we need to talk." Rachel said, seemingly changing the subject. "About all the trouble you've been getting into. About what happened with those other boys."

"I don't wanna talk about it." David said firmly. This was a conversation they'd had more than once in the past few weeks and he was in no mood to have it again.

"Not talking about it isn't going to make it go way." Rachel pointed out patiently. "You were lucky this time. What about the next time?"

"There won't be a next time." David insisted confidently.

"You can't be sure of that…not the way you've been acting lately. Not with those boys you've been hanging out with."

"Leave my friends out of this." David said in an irritated voice. "I can take care of myself."

"No, you can't. At least not as well as you think you can." Rachel sighed heavily knowing that her son was going to be very angry with her when he found out what she had decided to do. "I don't know what to do with you anymore, David. You won't listen, you disobey me constantly, you sneak out of the house whenever you want to…and now this! You disrespect me and anyone else who tries to talk to you."

"Then why don't you just leave me alone?" David demanded, his dark eyes flashing dangerously. "I don't need to have you telling me all the time what a fuck up I am!"

"David Michael Starsky!" Rachel snapped sharply "You will not use that kind of language in this house! You're not too big for me to turn you over my knee and spank you!"

"I'd like to see you try!" David yelled in a challenging tone. He wanted to apologize but his pride refused to let him back down now.

Rachel took a deep breath and exhaled slowly to calm herself before continuing. In a deceptively calm voice, she said "When Al and Rosie go back to California, you're going with them for a while."

"What?" David exclaimed, his voice high with shock and surprise. "You're sending me away?" His jaw jutted out defiantly, refusing to acknowledge how much his mother's words had hurt him.

"You haven't left me any other choice, David." Rachel said sadly. She knew she couldn't continue this conversation right now or she'd start crying. "I don't know what else to do with you."

As she left the room, David yelled at her retreating back 'I HATE YOU! I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU IF YOU SEND ME AWAY!" Biting back the tears that flooded her eyes at the pain and anger she heard in her child's voice, Rachel forced herself to keep walking and ignore him, disappearing into the kitchen.

As his mother disappeared from sight, David choked back a strangled sob. He couldn't believe that his mother would actually send him away. He was sure he could talk her out of it if he had enough time. The idea of leaving the only home he had ever known, his family and his friends, terrified him. He barely knew his Aunt Rosie and Uncle Al. They had moved to California before David was born and he had only seen them once a year when they came to visit at Christmas time.

Still reeling with shock from his mother's declaration, David wheeled himself across the living room to the downstairs room where he would be sleeping since he couldn't climb the steps with his cast. He slammed the door loudly and locked it but he felt no satisfaction from his childish act. With some difficulty, he managed to slide himself from the wheelchair to the day bed sitting in the corner of the room. Lifting the heavy cast up onto the cushions, he stretched out and turned his face, burying it in the pillow so nobody would hear the sound of his heartbroken sobs.


	11. Chapter 11

**LOST INNOCENCE**

**Please note, if you have read "A mother's love" you may recognize the content of this chapter since it was taken almost verbatim from that story. However, I felt the conversation contained here gave a clear picture of young David's state of mind.**

**CHAPTER 11**

David sat in the back yard staring at the street wistfully. Aunt Rosie and Uncle Al would be arriving from California tomorrow and when they went back, he would be going with them. He had tried pleading with his mother not to send him away but she had turned a deaf ear to his promises to be good from now on. He had even tried threatening her; telling her that he would run away but that hadn't done him any good either. Rachel's mind was made up and nothing David said or did was going to change it now. He was angry but under the anger was a deep-rooted hurt and fear. He had refused to speak to his mother for the past two days, giving her the silent treatment. But as much as his attitude was hurting her, deep inside he was hurting himself even more.

David glanced up as one of his friends from the neighborhood, Tommy Sullivan, snuck through the gate and came into the yard. Rachel was at work so David knew it was safe to talk to his friend for a few minutes. Tommy was the same age as David and lived with his mother in a two-room apartment in the projects nearby. His mother worked the streets for a living so Tommy was left on his own most of the time. He had recently joined the Red Dragons and the two boys had hung out frequently until David started spending so much of his time with Cheyenne.

"Hey, Davy…" Tommy said with a grin. He looked at the heavy cast on David's leg and the wheelchair, letting out a low whistle. "Man, it must be a bitch to be laid up like that."

"Yeah, it sucks." David agreed with a tight smile. "Especially since Ma said I can't leave the house."

"She tell ya that you can't hang out with us anymore?" Tommy said, his words more a statement of fact than it was a question.

"Something like that."

"Hey, we didn't have anything to do with what Chico and his gang did." Tommy said defensively. "Hell, when Tinker found out what they did to you…he tracked down Chico's kid brother and beat the shit out of him." Street justice and payback in its most basic form.

"Try telling my mom that." David said, choosing not to comment on Tommy statement about Chico's kid brother. "She thinks you're all a bad influence."

"How long is she gonna make you hang around here?"

"Not long….she's sending me away." David said with a snort, turning his head to avoid his friend's eyes.

"What? Where the hell is she sending you?" Tommy said in a surprised voice.

"Out to California to stay with my Aunt and Uncle."

"California?" Tommy yelped "You gotta be kidding me! Man, she's a real bitch."

"Don't call my mom a bitch!" David snapped, turning back to glare at his friend angrily. He may be angry at his mother but nobody else was going to disrespect her. He inhaled deeply to control his surge of emotions and then sighed, "Maybe it'll just be for the summer. If I straighten up while I'm out there, maybe she'll let me come back home."

"Yeah, maybe. It sure won't be the same around here without you." Tommy grinned as he thought about some of the trouble the two boys had gotten into together in the past few months. One of the things he liked about David the most was the fact that he didn't seem scared to try anything, no matter how dangerous it was. Just being with him gave Tommy a false sense of security and courage. He knew no matter what went down, David always had his back.

"I tried talking her out of it but she's got her mind made up." David said sullenly. "She says it's for my own good."

"That what you think too?"

Fuck no. I don't wanna leave….everything's just all screwed up right now. Ma's really pissed off at me this time."

"Hey, like you said…..maybe it'll just be for the summer." Tommy said trying to give his friend some encouragement. "When are you leaving?"

"In a few days, I guess."

"That soon? That ain't much time. Is she even gonna let you say goodbye to anybody?"

"I doubt it. She just wants to get rid of me as soon as she can."

"I'm really gonna miss ya, man…" Tommy said self consciously, looking at his friend with a shy smile. "I'll tell the other guys what happened so they won't think you just cut out on 'em."

"Thanks. I don't want 'em to think I didn't care enough to say goodbye."

"Look, I gotta go…" Tommy said uneasily. Like most boys his age, he wasn't comfortable when he started talking about his feelings. "I'm supposed to meet Ice and Spider at the arcade. You take care, ya hear?"

"Yeah, thanks." David said as he watched his friend turn to leave the yard. As the gate swung shut behind him, David heard the back door open and then shut as Nicky came out of the house.

"What was Tommy doing here?" Nicky asked as he came up to stand beside his oldest brother, "Ma said you couldn't hang out with him no more."

"I wasn't hanging out with him." David said in an annoyed voice, "We was just talking and if you tell Ma he was here, I'll smack ya."

"I won't tell. I promise." Nicky said solemnly. He scuffed his tennis shoe back and forth in the dirt at his feet and then looked at his brother gravely. In a small voice, he asked "Is Ma really going make you go stay with Uncle Al and Aunt Rose?"

"It looks that way." David said tightly, suddenly finding it hard to swallow past the lump that seemed lodged in his throat.

"Why? What'd you do to make her so mad at you?" Nicky asked with the innocence of a child.

"Guess she just don't want me around no more." David said sharply. He made no attempt to hide the anger or the bitterness in his voice. The anger had wrapped itself around his heart and squeezed out his other emotions until he didn't know how to react any other way.

"Is she gonna send me away too if I'm bad?" Nicky asked, his voice falling almost to a whisper, as he looked to his older brother for answers just like he always had.

A trace of a smile crept onto David's face as he glanced at his kid brother. Reaching out, he gently rumbled his curly hair. "Naw, you're her little angel…you never do nothing wrong." He said with a hint of gruffness and resentment in his voice. "She won't send you away."

"When am I gonna see ya again?"

"I don't know. California's a long way off. It's not like I'm gonna be just around the block."

"I'm gonna miss you." Nicky said with a slight hiccup in his voice as his eyes brimmed with tears.

"I'm gonna miss you too, kid." David said, gathering his little brother close and giving him a quick hug. "But I'll write ya. I promise."

"Okay." Nicky said in a small voice as if he doubted if he would ever see his big brother again once he was sent away. "Will you fix me a sandwich?" He said with a slight whine to his voice. "I'm hungry."

"Sure; I'm kinda hungry myself." David said, as he turned the wheelchair around to go back into the house. It had been easier getting the wheelchair out the back door than it was to get it back in but with Nicky's help, he managed. He told Nicky to get him the bread and peanut butter so he could make them some sandwiches. They ate in silence and then Nicky went into the living room to watch TV until their mother got home for work. After a few minutes, David joined him.


	12. Chapter 12

**LOST INNOCENCE**

**CHAPTER 12**

David grabbed his clothes out of the closet and the dresser in a cold rage. He threw open the old battered suitcase he had laid on the bed and stuffed them inside haphazardly. _Fine…she wants me gone so bad then I don't care anymore. I'm outta here! _He thought to himself. _She won't have to worry about me no more, she don't want me anyway. She has her precious Nicky. He never does anything wrong! _Deep inside, he could feel the tears that threatened to fall but he stubbornly refused to let them surface. He wouldn't give any of them the satisfaction of seeing him cry. He'd be leaving for the airport with his aunt and uncle in less than two hours, leaving behind him the only life he had ever known. .

David had been rude and unapproachable, in spite of his aunt and uncle's best efforts to engage him in conversation since they'd arrived from California. But, Rachel would not allow her son to totally ignore them. She had insisted on him remembering his manners and treating them with respect and courtesy. David had complied but refused to let his aunt hug him. He had vowed never to let anyone get close enough to him to hurt him again.

Although David would never admit it to anyone there was a part of him that was curious about California. He had never been outside of New York before. Any other time, under any other circumstances, it would be an adventure. He forgot about packing any more of his clothes and threw himself down across the bed, burying his face in the pillow. Underneath it all, he was just a scared thirteen year old boy whose life was about to change dramatically.

After some time, he heard a light tap on the door and glanced up as it opened. Nicky came into the room carrying a plate of food. David had ignored his mother's voice calling for him to come to the table for supper. "Ma said you better eat it before it gets cold." Nicky said as he handed his older brother the plate.

David noticed that Ma had fixed his favorite meal, pot roast with potatoes, carrots and onions. She teased him and called it her 'Paul Muni Special' When he asked her one time who Paul Muni was, she told him that he was an actor that she liked and that David reminded her of him. Normally, David would have cleaned his plate and asked for seconds but today he didn't have much of an appetite. He accepted the plate and toyed with the food, taking a few bites now and then but mainly just pushing the food around on his plate.

Nicky climbed up on the foot of the bed and sat there solemnly watching his big brother as he played with his food. He was sad that Davy was really going away and there was a part of him that was angry with his mother too for making Davy leave. He wondered if Davy was sad too because he wasn't going to live with them anymore.

"Hey, kid…" David said glancing at his kid brother with a lopsided smile that never quite reached his eyes. "You can have my baseball and my bat. I ain't taking it with me…the glove too."

"You sure?" Nicky said in an excited voice, his eyes widening with pleasure. Davy still played ball with him sometimes but not much anymore.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I won't need 'em where I'm going."

"Why not?" Nicky asked with a puzzled frown, tilting his head to one side to look at his brother questioningly as he waited for an answer.

"Cause I ain't gonna have no friends to play ball with."

"But you'll make new friends, won't ya?"

"Not like my friends here." David said gruffly. He gave up trying to eat and set the plate on the nightstand. "Hey…you wanna help me finish packing?"

"Sure…."

David tried to lighten his mood as he climbed off the bed. It wasn't Nicky's fault that he had to go away. "Why don't you grab the rest of my stuff out of the closet?"

"Okay." Nicky said, climbing off the bed and doing as David asked. The older boy walked over to the dresser and opened the top drawer. He took out the framed picture of him with Pop in his policeman's uniform. It was taken when David was Nicky's age and he cherished the picture. It was the only one that he had of his father except for a small photograph that he carried in his wallet. He didn't want to forget it. In the bottom of the drawer, he found a Star of David on a long silver chain. He decided to take that too. He took the picture and the necklace and carefully put them in the bottom of the suitcase underneath some of his clothes where they wouldn't be damaged during the flight back to California. He'd never been on a plane before and the whole idea of flying scared him but he'd never admit that to anyone.

He sighed as he finished packing what few clothes he had. He decided to leave his heavy winter jacket behind. He doubted if he would need it out in California. He hoped that when it came time to actually leave he wouldn't embarrass himself by crying. He'd already tried that and it hadn't changed his mother's mind about sending him away so he doubted if it would now. As he glanced around the room trying to remember if he had forgotten anything he wanted to take with him, he found himself wondering if he would ever see this house or his family again. He had never felt so alone or abandoned in his life.

A rap on the door startled David. He had almost forgotten how late it was getting.

His mother's voice said from the other side of the door, "David, it's almost time to leave." He snapped the suitcase closed and picked it up. With Nicky close on his heels, he squared his shoulders and took a deep breath, before stepping through the door into the living room.

His aunt and uncle were saying goodbye to his mother, who was crying softly. Nicky glanced up at his big brother, looking almost as scared as David felt inside. Rachel took a step towards him and wrapped her arms around her eldest son tightly. David tensed up but allowed her embrace, blinking back the tears that filled his eyes.

"I love you, David." She whispered as she held him close one last time. "Don't ever doubt that."

David wanted to tell her that he loved her too but he didn't. He pulled away from her embrace before he embarrassed himself by breaking down. He wanted to cry and beg her to let him stay, not to send him away but he knew it was too late for that. Wiping at her eyes, Rachel grabbed his hand and pressed something small and hard into his palm, gently closing his fingers around it. "I want you to have these. They're yours now…so you'll always remember who you are and where you came from."

David opened his hand slowly and instantly felt a hard lump rise into his throat. Lying in the palm of his hand was the two rings his father had always worn on his right pinky finger. A braided silver band and his mother's gold wedding band that he had given her on their wedding day. When he had replaced it with a diamond wedding set on their Tenth Anniversary, he had put the ring on his own hand. Without a word, David slipped the rings into his jacket. They were too big for him to wear now but they wouldn't always be too big..

"There's our cab." Al said as the yellow taxi pulled up to the curb in front of the house. He grabbed the single bag that he and Rose had brought with them, along with David's suitcase and carried them towards the cab. Nicky ran to his older brother and threw his arms around his waist, hugging him tightly as if he would never let him go. He starting crying and David had to choke back his own tears, determined to remain strong even though his heart was breaking inside. Hugging him back tightly, David leaned down and whispered in his ear "You take good care of Ma, ya hear me? If you don't I'll come back and kick your ass."

He straightened up as his aunt stepped forward and slipped her arm around his shoulders. "It's time to go, David." Rachel gently untangled Nicky's arms from around his waist and pulled her youngest son into a warm embrace. Two sets of identical sapphire blue eyes met and locked in a final goodbye, communicating in silence the words neither of them could speak aloud, as Rachel and her eldest son exchanged a final glance. "You make sure and call me as soon as you get there." Rachel said a slight quiver in her voice as she struggled to control her emotions.

David nodded without speaking and allowed his aunt to guide him to the waiting cab. He climbed into the back seat with his aunt, while his uncle climbed into the front with the driver. Turning his head to stare out the window, David watched as his mother, his brother, and his childhood home faded out of sight. He was silent all the way to the airport, just staring out the window as the familiar sights of the city he knew as his home passed him by. When the cab pulled up in front of the terminal, he climbed out of the cab without a word and followed his aunt and uncle into the building.

They found their boarding gate, checked their suitcases, and then gave the woman on duty their tickets. They were ushered out the door to the turmac and slowly walked towards their plane. David's attention was focused on the hustle and bustle of the busy airport being carried out all around him. David had never flown before and he was scared to death. Once on board, they were escorted to their seats by a perky flight attendant with a big smile and a deep southern drawl. Al and Rose were sitting together with David sitting in a window seat directly in front of Rose. Lost in his own misery, David stared out the tiny window at the busy activity on the ground below as the plane prepared for take off. He made sure his seat belt was securely tightened and tried to calm the nervous fluttering of his stomach. He barely noticed as the flight attendant began her standard pre-flight instructions. David clenched his hands into fists, his fingernails digging painfully into the palms of his hands, as he felt the plane start to move down the runway. Unable to watch the takeoff, he closed his eyes tightly until he was sure that they were in the air.

It was a long flight to California, almost six hours with a short layover half way there. David managed to sleep part of the way. When the flight attendant came around with the meal trays, David refused his. He was afraid the food wouldn't stay down on his nervous stomach, but he did accept the glass of root beer she gave him with a sincere smile of thanks. Al and Rose talked quietly between themselves during the flight without trying to draw David into their conversation. He realized that they were trying to give him as much space as he needed to adjust to the major realignment of his life. He knew he should be grateful for that but somehow it just made him feel worse.

When they finally arrived in Los Angeles, David was surprised to realize just how warm it was when they got off the plane. Back home it was still cold enough to need a jacket during the daytime and a couple of blankets at night. He figured the weather here was one thing he wouldn't have any trouble getting used to at least. He stayed close to his aunt and uncle as they picked up their luggage and slowly made their way through the huge airport terminal with crowds of people everywhere.

Once they were outside the terminal, Al flagged down a cab and the three of them climbed inside for the ride to their house in Bay City, a nearby suburb. Al and Rose lived in a quiet middle class neighborhood with rows of modestly built homes, suitable for young families just starting out or older couples looking for a quiet place to retire. As the cab drove down the tree lined street, David marveled at the new and unusual sights. Sights he had only read about in books. Sights like palm trees lining the street and front yards with Orange trees growing in them instead of big Elm trees. Talk about culture shock for an uprooted Jewish kid from Brooklyn.

The cab finally stopped in front of a small one-story brick ranch house with a fenced in back yard. David and his aunt climbed out of the cab, waiting patiently while Al paid the driver and collected the bags. David stole a furtive glance at his new home, wondering what life would be like behind those four walls in the months to come. He could already feel the first sharp pangs of homesickness gnawing at his heart. Sighing softly, he followed his aunt and uncle up the cobblestone walkway to the front door and into his new life.


End file.
